SheyraSidik

will it be easy?

2011-09-09T12:22:00.007+08:00

why is it whenever i'm bored, you're the one i'll be missing?

i don't know why i'm still waiting.

i used to believe that we're fated for each other.

but i tend to think otherwise when i feel that you're into someone else.

i know i had to let it go someday.. but when?

yes, it hurts.

it hurts to know that i'm not the reason behind your smile.

my heart beats fast and hard like a drum whenever i browse your profile. (call me a stalker, i could care less.)

just to kill my sadness.

i viewed almost every pictures you have to stop missing you. (it doesn't help much)

it hurts in every way.

i know i have to let you go.

but why do i reject every possible man that could turn tears into smiles?

why am i still waiting?

i shall stop looking for answers and accept what fate has brought for me.

so long, my almost lover.

i'll never stop praying for your happiness.. and mine.

- ..and then i realize, you were never mine to begin with. -

Salam Aidilfitri

2011-09-01T15:09:00.004+08:00

I disini ingin menyusun 10 fingers memohon ampun dan maaf kepada semua sekiranya I pernah menyakiti hati sesiapa intentionally or not. Semoga this raya memberi rahmat kepada we all.

Selamat Hari Raya!

- Next time i promise to blog more. Today is sick day. Gotta rest. Enjoy your raya, people! -

Baybeats 2011

2011-08-18T13:47:00.004+08:00

Arajua

You guys really gotta check this awesome post-rock band! You'll simply be mesmerized by the songs the play and you may have eargasm listening to it. Trust me.

Come down to Esplanade and watch them live this Friday, 190811 @ 7pm.

-vgujh-

she's back!

2011-08-16T15:16:00.008+08:00

oh wow!

it's been a year plus since my last entry.

sorry for abandoning you, i guess. heh.

anyways, i'll be back again to write up on hot stuffs that's been happening for the whole year of unblogging.

-perhaps you need to prepare some tissues too. heh.-

turmoil.

2010-06-01T22:35:00.004+08:00

Bad news after another.

Dearest drummer's mum has just passed away.

Diharapkan dapat sedekahkan Al-Fateha kepada Allahyarhamha.

Semoga di tempatkan ke orang-orang yang beriman. Insyallah.

It really made an impact on me. I wasn't close to her but i know she's a very nice person. I felt really bad as i didn't take Ayie's situation seriously. Assuming that everything was sure gonna be all right. Poor him. I neglected him. How cruel was i. I pray and hope that he'll be a stronger and wiser brother, and son. May Allah protect him and his family. Amin.

Superhero haven't been online for quite some time. I used to think that ever since he's got a girlfriend, he didn't have time to go online. HAH! The fact is, he was having problems with his MSN. Oh well, i miss chatting with him..entertaining his nonsensical and irritating jokes. Gotta let him go, one day. heh.

So, i feel left out these few months. I've to admit. I didn't have anyone, and i mean ANYONE to pour out my happiness and sorrows with. Sad, huh? I've been keeping it all to myself. How torturing. I had no choice but to pour some, in here. It's unbearable. God!

Had misunderstandings with Kathy. I'm glad it's over. You're not the only one who feels abandoned. (:

Received a text message from Asri. He said he still couldn't meet me up to get his present and that he's totally sorry about it. He's going on course for a month. It teared my heart out. I may not know if i'll still be able to meet him the following month. I won't hope for more. It hurts to know what you've planned few months back, is still not happening now...for until god-knows-when. Well, i wish him well and hopes he reach to and fro, safely.

And... i'm gonna throw these tensions out at BDB's gig this Thursday at the Prince Of Wales. And of course, gonna spend some time with my BFFs and Fakhrin on the following week. Hope all of that can help me relax abit.

... above all, to be frank, i feel so unappreciated. Sometimes, having lots of friends can bring difficult and stressful times to yourself. I'm not saying i don't appreciate friendship. But i think i'm over-appreciating them until it felt like shit to see them leaving you out after some time. The worse part is, you've no idea where they've gone to!

-May the upcoming month brings better luck and happiness in my life.-

Happy Mum's Day, Mothers!

2010-05-09T23:48:00.005+08:00

WHAT A DAY!

a tiring yet awesome one.

Woke up at 1030am. Went to look for blue roses at the very last minute for mum. I didn't have time to order and stuffs before. So i went searching at the last minute. Lucky me, i found a flower shop at Tamp One and they did sell blue roses. I didn't have to be afraid of hearing them say, "Oh, blue roses uh? You have to order one, you know. 3 days before." -_-

Waited for the florists to arrange and beautify the bouquet. I'm satisfied with it. I was sure mum would be pleased.

So, as mum had no idea what i've planned for her on this day, i told my siblings not to reveal whatever we've planned. Told her that we'll be having a mini celebration at home and nothing else. She told us she was doing OT but ended up doing just morning shift today. Went on with our plan though. Reached just in time before mum left for home. Told my niece to surprise her by running and gave her the flowers. To my astonishment, she looked very amazed. I thought she had the idea of us having a surprise for her but i guess we're so good in acting. LOL. Treated her at Swensen's after which, another surprise for mum. A Montclair ring that she wanted so bad. Again, i was shocked. I saw tears in her eyes and i'm happy. I'm happy that she was very pleased with the gifts. Oh, btw, there's a video of her opening this gift and while she was doing that, bro did a random act by throwing a cherry on her which landed up in between her breasts. That was superly funny, i tell you. Have a look at my facebook. HAHAHA.

Last but not least, on the way back home i asked mum, "Happy today?", her reply, "VERY.", and went on hugging all of us. I told her i had the last gift for her. An ATOS Wellness Club voucher for a full body massage + steam bath and body scrub. Just for mum. It's gonna be worth it.

This is nothing compared to the love and care you gave. You've sacrificed much more than this.

-Love you, Hasani.-

good moorrnningg!

2010-04-14T01:21:00.004+08:00

MORNING, guys.

I know. It's late. I can't sleep.

Had another pathetic argument with Superhero.

I don't know why.

At times i feel he's my saviour and the next, an enemy.

We argue about the things we can refrain from talking about, but yet we did.

Sounds childish, right?

That's how we are sometimes. He loves to piss me, i love to piss him.

He's just unpredictable, sometimes. Also, heartless.

He just say the things he wanna say and that's that. The moment he said something i don't like, we argue. Most of the time, he still makes fun of it when i was serious about being mad. And he still irritates me out. I don't get it. Do you?

Geez. Guys can be sooo... undescribable.

Again, he warned me about something he've warned me too many times before. And he knew i'm not the KAYPO or the Gossip-Girl type. He's being a paranoid or something. And it pisses me off. People who know me, don't repeat the same mistakes they did. Once i said NO, means a NO. And when i've said i'm not like that, means i'm not. And if you have insecurities or having difficulties to trust me, then just buzz off. Sadly, that's what i did to him. I've said my good luck wishes and goodbye to him. He tried to make me laugh by pissing me off still, but it didn't get me. I stopped from chatting with him. After a few tries of making me talk, he gave up just like that. Offline. Not even a word of SORRY. Such an egoistic man. Sigh.

Sometimes, i wonder. Is he a friend or a foe? Or maybe he's just a passer-by who attends to my boredom-ness on MSN. I don't wish him to be that way. He's my Superhero after all. And it means something when i've called him that. Surely must be a friend, a close friend or something like that. Does he even have a clue to why i call him that? Sheesh. I'd bet that's a NO. Well, i'll just carry on then.

p/s: i've never enjoyed hating you.

-Hating every bit of this moment.-

busy busy month!

2010-04-10T21:14:00.008+08:00

Hey all!

I've been having a pretty hectic schedule ever since school re-opens.

I'm currently trying to juggle with 2 jobs on hand and of course, the toughest modules for this term.

It's stressful, hoping to cope with whatever i've decided to do. I know i just had to do this.

So, this week have been the tiring week EVER.

Having yet another argument with dearest Superhero. I hate it when he tries to compare me with other girls. I thought he know me better than that. It gets very irritating every now and then. Yet, he still ask when will i ever come down to meet him at his workplace. He even scold me for not saying Hi whenever i dropped by. And whenever i never said Hi, there MUST be a reason to it. I just don't bother to drag. (:

There's just so many birthdays this month. I just don't have enough time to search for prezzies and stuffs. But i had lotsa time searching for my dearest friend, Asri's a gift (he's in my priority list, btw). I'm hoping he'll like it.

See, that's one of the reason to why i have to work VERY hard for. To let my friends know that i still treasure them no matter how distant they are.

Ohh... I've sooo many things to blog about. I'm just so tired to do it now. Perhaps some other time ya, peeps? Take care!♥

p/s: Where can i get the cheapest engraving shop? (:

-So wanna get over it.-

sleepy. tired.

2010-03-29T00:43:00.002+08:00

Hey all.

I know i haven't been blogging much.

It's due to my laziness. heh.

I've my reasons, i guess.

Too much to say with too little time to blog.

And finally, today i forced myself to blog.

Been bored and tired the whole week.

I didn't have any plans for the week except for working.

I wonder why i just can't plan something for my holidays.

Maybe i've too many friends that i just can't decide who to go out with.

Or, they are ALL just too busy with their own lives.

Oh, wells..

I guess i just have to do this on my own.

Anyways, my sister was admitted to CGH this afternoon. She slipped and fell at a food court near our workplace. She couldn't move her left leg. So, had to call an ambulance and bring her to the hospital. The funny thing is, when i was told about her fall, i laughed. I thought it was just a normal fall. When i saw her in a wheelchair, looking at me with tears on her face and her eyes, as if searching for sympathy, my jaw dropped. I quickly came to her, asked her how it happened and all. I was shocked. I just have to blame the cleaner there for not putting up their signage while mopping the floor. Mama and i realised that we were so cool until we reached the hospital. Thinking of how relaxed we were when it happened when how it was supposed to be is, being furious. I guess we were all exhausted from work.

Oh OH. The Observation room was near to "bilik mayat". While waiting for mama to say her goodbyes to Iqa, i waited outside. I didn't realise that there was a corpse in one of the rooms near the Observation room. I saw about 4 chinese people, sitting outside that room of which, i assume one of them is an insurance agent. He went into the room and took a look at the pale foot. I don't quite have the idea on why he did that, but when i saw THAT, i quickly turned around and walk back to the observation room area. Oh my, i'm still having chills thinking about it. GOD!

Now, i'm hoping and praying that my little sister's gonna be fine. Let's all pray together. Thank you.

-Hady, Hady, Hady!-

Exams OUT, Holidays IN!

2010-03-17T21:31:00.004+08:00

Wuhoo!!

Finally exam's over!

Alhamdulillah, everything almost went well.

Thanks ALOT to Nabilah & Era for you-know-what. heh.

Oh, sorry classmates. I seriously can't join you guys for the chalet. Happy birthday to the March babes, though. (:

Anyway, i've been having diarrhoea for 3 days. Today, it has stopped. Well not exactly, actually. I'm still having stomach pains. Whatever it is, i was glad that i didn't have to go to the toilet every now and then for exams like last term.. Did i mention i was having my menses too? uhhhuh. How disgusting it was to have menses and diarrhoea at the same time. Bad luck, last term. heh.

Okay. 'Nuff of that.

Let's see.. I do have stories to tell.

Weekends was pretty tight with work and stuffs. Then met Fakhrin on Monday. Accompanied him for his jamming session. Told me to checkout his new band and advice him on vocals. I did what i had to but too bad couldn't watch him live the next night. But i did meet him in the day. Brought him food to his place as he was starving since the night before. Chilled with him at his crib for a while, then went back home to study.

Today.. I wanted to go out so bad after exams. Sort of celebrate the end of exams kinda thing. heh. But i guess, the cramp's killing me. So, went home straight and rest.

Okay now, there's nothing left to update. Except that, HOPEFULLY, Patchwork Neurology will be back with some good news. *insyallah*

p/s: Superhero makin irritating or what! Sufardi pergi, Sufardi balik. Irrits sia!

-_-

-Perhaps you're feeling what i feel for you before. But i just don't feel quite the same now. Or maybe, just maybe, i'm unsure.-

Cop Out Night

2010-03-13T01:14:00.005+08:00

Yesterday night was fun!

Went to watch Cop Out with Ayie, Qader and Kathy. Ayie's been wanting to bring all of us out on a ride since he've finally got a license. Cop Out was a funny movie, except that i think Tracy Morgan was a 'lil too annoying. So, we went to Plaza Singapura to catch Cop Out at 2145hrs, after which we went to Simpang Bedok. We were famished by then. It all ended at 0200hrs. Finally got my sleep at 0300hrs. Woke up the next morning at 0930hrs to get ready to meet Fadilah and finish up our assignment. Left school by 1730hrs, went to IT Show and saw what i wanted. I'm so hoping i could buy them tomorrow. So bloody tempting. Almost everything tends to tempt me. Damn! haha.

Urgh! It's almost 0200hrs already?? Shit. I'll be in need more of sleep from now on. Gotta go for now. Need to work later. Will update soon! *toodles*

-Oh, confused. Just why do i confuse myself? *rolls eyes*-

it's been a looonggg time.

2010-03-03T23:48:00.011+08:00

H E L L O EVERYONE!!!

It's been a very long time, indeed ey? Apologies to all.

Had a problem with Nero, with bills piling up which have finally been settled.

Sooo... Here I Am!

I know most of you have been waiting for me to post something up. Updating this and that. Even someone asked me to dump this blog for not updating this long. L O L. Though i had the chance to get to a certain computer and logged in to the internet, i just can't bring myself to update stuffs in here. Whenever i want to blog, my brain will automatically switch off, leaving me with, "Oh hell! What do i wanna say in here?"

So, yeah. Life's been pretty normal. I'm so so glad to see my Superhero's trying to be close with me. A super duper relief! I miss my BITCHES, though. Miss those times when we had our fights and laughters together. I really really hope we can meet up soon.

Now, i wanna update a 'lil about the things i've done for the month of February. Just 2 dates though. L O L.

27th Feb 2010

The day PWN, Kathy & my BFFs celebrated Ayie's belated birthday. Watched Percy Jackson, an awesome movie i must say, and had a small suprise party for Hero. A great night, with a small cock-ups at the party.

28th Feb 2010

A super great day. Went to Sembawang Shopping Centre with Hadri & Yana for Hady's autograph session. I think i'm way outdated about HapyHadys updates. I thought this was the 2nd autograph session he had other than the one he had at East Point Mall. He had a few more before. What a HUGE FAN you are, Nursyahirah! Back to the story, Hady looked extremely gorgeous and magnificent, as always, in green shirt, dark blue jeans and boots. SO SO HOT. Here's the weird thing about me, i wasn't THAT excited about coming up on stage to get his album signed. I've NO IDEA why. But when i finally stepped on the stage, waiting for his fan before me getting herself done with the photo-takings and all, i got goosebumps. My heartbeat pumped up real fast, i was shaking. And i mean really shaking. I was hoping it ain't that obvious. We had a short chit-chat, which looks the longest from his other fans. We talked as if we've known each other from years back. Took a pic like nobody's business, more like a "We're-More-Than-Friends" pose. And for the 2nd time, i fell in love with an idol (after MJ, of course).

Thanks a lot to Had & Yana for entertaining this crazy side of me. *smiles widely*

And oh, here's the pictures taken from the autograph session.

Thank you, BFF. (:

I'm so happy i got this.

Now, tell me we look compatible. Say... "pinang dibelah dua"? Teeelll mmeee..! LOL!

p/s: The songs in his latest album, "Sang Penyanyi", rocks my socks! Love all of the tracks.

-..and then i hoped for you. and i know, it ain't good. soo not good.-

haircut and stuffs.

2010-01-15T16:07:00.009+08:00

Well..

It felt like ages since i last blogged.

Been pretty busy lately, or rather lazy to blog things out.

Apparently, Nero's giving me a hard time. So, i might be getting a new lappie.

And i'm supposed to be on a budget to get an iTouch. Oh wells..! Gotta wait for GST Offset then.

Let's see..

There's too many things i've to say. But first and foremost, i've cut my hair! Wuhoo!

Went to Jean Yip at SSC on Wednesday, to get a haircut from Uncle Jiji. Mama did get a haircut too. Hers is shorter. *evil laugh*

Uncle Jiji wanted to do a Bob Hairstyle on me. But i said NO. haha. Afraid i'll look even chubbier. But he said, "You won't la. You must look at the hands that's doing it. *cheeky smile*"

Whatever gitu kan...!

Nevertheless, it's still a NO to me. Perhaps not now. Maybe a month later or something, i'll decide to do a Bob Hairstyle with some highlights. Awesome, ey? haha!

So i had a normal haircut, it's shorter than it was before. Like about 5 inches shorter? heh. Wanted to look a teenie weenie bit different, i guess.

Anyways, there ARE too many problems indeed, for me. Wish i can talk it out with someone. But it seems like all of them are busy. And i mean, ALL. I don't wanna bother them anyway. So, like always, i keep it to myself. It's better off that way.

I miss my BFFs, my girlfriends, my boyfriends, my BITCHES, my bandmates.. uhh! Almost everyone i know! Wish i could remain having the old times i had. *sigh*

-I know i'd be better off without you.-

new skin.

2009-12-15T00:03:00.003+08:00

Hey all.

New skin is up!

I've no idea what happened to the previous one.

Had a computer break down the whole of last week.

Didn't realise what happened in here.

So, at the mean time, enjoy my new skin. (:

Will blog again soon!

-Still not over you and i wonder why.-

the call.

2009-11-13T21:41:00.003+08:00

Stars shine so bright tonight.
It reminds me about what you told me on the night we first met.
Then, the flashbacks came and slowly enlightened me with our sweet memories.
I've always wanted to hate you, then forget you.
But i can't bring myself to.. I just can't.
Don't ask why.
And when you called last night,
Asking how i was, telling me your stories and recalling me about the old times, i broke down.
I wish you didn't say the things you said.
But deep down inside,
I love it when you remember it all.
Regretting the things you did.
Both you and i know that we can't be together.. perhaps not now.
But i believe in fate.
If you're the one, i'll wait 'till the end.
It may sound stupid and foolish of me.
But you're the only one i've been thinking of after you left.
Though i tried so hard to forget, i know you're the only one i love and will always love.
I'll always be here for you though i can't be with you.

-I'm missing you.. so bad.-

Happy Birthday to me!

2009-11-04T23:57:00.003+08:00

Happy Birthday to me...! YAY!

Triple celebration. AWESOMENESS!
Party was already a blast, then on my birthday itself was full of surprises and the next day, fun outing with my family but a disastrous night too.

3rd Nov 09

Received a phone call around 0930hrs. I saw Hasni's name on my screen and wondered, "Why the hell is she calling me at this hour? Even if she wants to wish me Happy Birthday, it could've been just through sms". So i cleared my throat and said Hello. She wished me Happy Birthday and said, "Bukak lah pintu. Aku kat luar lah", my replied was, "HUH?! Serious pe??". I woke up and put on my head scarf and head to the door. I saw her at the corner with a small cake and a gift saying, "Happy Birthday!!" I was touched. So so touched. I thought i was in my dreams. heh. We talked for a bit then she head off to school. I went to my room and quickly opened my gift. I saw a frame with 3 of our pictures in it and one, a written speech. hee. Reading that, i almost cried. Thinking how true those words are. First surprise ever. Thanks dear. (:
Next, i was dressed up, ready for school. Like normal days(except that i dressed up a 'lil), i went to school with a smile on my face. But i must admit, i was damn sleepy as i haven't had enough sleep due to the morning surprise. hahs! At the end of the theory lesson, my lecturer told all of us to pack our bags and go to the pantry. Thinking on how weird it was, i saw some of my classmates looking at me with a cheeky smile. Then i thought something is up. I just go with the flow though. When half of my classmates went off to the pantry, i slowly walked towards it and saw a cake. Again, i was shocked. My eyes almost popped out, i must say. Then i heard someone asked, "Who's Syahirah here?". I was like, "Me...?". Then that lady introduced herself and said my mum brought the cake and actually asked my agent to help her out with the surprise. Since he couldn't make it, he asked for this lady's help. And so, my classmates gave me a loud HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Some confused, asking me, "Today's your birthday?? How come you didn't tell us??" Before i could even reply, the lady told me to gather my friends for the birthday song and cutting cake ceremony. Boy, i blushed. I could feel my blood's circulating around my cheeks, in fact. LOL. After thanking everyone there, rushed off to meet Mama & Sis at City Hall. The plan was to catch MJ's This Is It. When i reached, they both just smiled.. Acting as if nothing's happened. Then i said to mum, "Mama naughty eh.. Ape ni surprise-surprise?? Kata tengah budget?", she replied, "Alah, kalau dah ada ISETAN card, sign je la.." LOL. Then i hugged them both. Upon reaching Marina Square. Iqa suddenly showed me a green paper bag which she've been holding on since at City Hall and said, "Happy Birthday, Kakak!!", i asked, "Ni ape plak ni..?", she said, "Bukak la.. CONFIRM akak suka nya." Went on and opened it. I saw a diary and an envelope inside, quite bulky. I asked, "Kata nak belikan akak Everlast Shoe?? (:", she said, "Tu nanti la.. Orang belom dapat gaji.." LOL. Then she told me to open up the envelope. Tore the envelope and saw an awesome birthday card with guitars, amps, drumset and a microphone on it. COOLNESS. What's more, i saw MJ's badges!!! I jumped around like nobody's business and say thanks alot to my sis. Uhh. Can't imagine how happy i was.
So, overall, the night's AWESOME.

4th Nov 09

Bro called me up last night to say i'll be getting my present today and that i should meet him first at Tampines Mall after school. As excited as i was last night, i quickly got off from school and took the train back to Tampines. Met my sis-in-law and nieces there. I was so happy to see them. Went to look for the watch i've been aiming for. Search for the perfect prices. From ISETAN to other watch shops... AND THEN.. WALAH! I lost my phone. I don't remember misplacing it. I know i've kept it in the side pocket of my sling bag. When i tried to get my phone, i felt my zip's opened. My face expression changed totally. I quickly ransacked my bag but my phone's nowhere to be found. Used my sis-in-law's phone to call my phone. I heard the dial tone but was rejected. Called again, but the bloody criminal off my phone. And then i know that my phone's gone. I was in deep shit. I know mum's gonna scold me upside down for this, so does my brother and my aunty. Uhh.. WTF. I know i'm gonna report to the police straight after having dinner with them and will go to Starhub to collect my SIM card and $100 voucher, then to Samsung shop to make a report tomorrow. I hope my phone can be tracked down. *sigh*
What a tragical day after a whole week of excitement and surprises. SHIT!

Oh wells, i think that's about it. I'm gonna save up and get myself another phone while praying for my darling i900 to come back to me. I miss you! :(

-Full of birthday cakes in my stomach.-

Advance Birthday Partyhttp://www.blogger.com/adsense-edit.g?blogID=8957007

2009-11-01T20:06:00.005+08:00

W to the O to the W! What a party yesterday.

I had a super fun day. I must admit, i'm quite disappointed. The people i've been longing to see on my party weren't there. I do understand that some of them may be busy with their own work and stuffs. It was, raining anyway. Terrible month to have a party. heh. Nevertheless, my twinzy, god brother, closest friend, girlfriend, BFFs & bandmates were there to hype up the party and.. it was GREAT. Having them around totally made my day.
Thank you, THANK you, THANK YOU!
Amin gave me what i had once asked him for, Michael Jackson's Legendary Book. Awesome! haha. Kathy gave me a new top. It's sweet, thanks babe! My BFFs.. uhh! The ones who really really made my day. With their surprises, sabotage and stuffs. WOW. Thanks for the awesomely huge card, Dickies bag and a new top. Like as if you guys know which Dickies bag i've been eyeing for all this while. haha! Abg Faisal was there too, he came late. Haven't seen him for years! Since my Secondary School days. Oh my! That's friggin' long. He came unexpectedly ALONE. I got shocked. Oh wells, he did it for his sweet sister. *smiles widely*
My favourite Uncle came with his wife, pretty late too. They gave me a brandless yet unique and pretty watch. Coolness! I had to thank Kathy, Aizat and my dearest Al Hafiz for helping me out with almost everything. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Without you guys, my party will be as plain as EVER. (:

I have to apologize to my dearest bassist, Qader. Sorry for not entertaining you, your brother and your friends well. I was damn tired by the time you guys came. And oh, thanks for staying there till dawn. You ROCK! (:

-I wish you well.-

Wishlist.

2009-10-20T14:51:00.006+08:00

Hello Everyone!

My advance birthday party is just around the corner, and i believe most of you are invited.
Since some have been asking what i want for my birthday, i'm gonna create a wish list right here.
It's a mix of my needs and wants and i'm hoping i won't be asking for expensive stuffs this year. LOL.
Here it goes, according to the priorities.

- G-Shock watch (i haven't really browse on it yet)
- Adidas watch

- Black Vans Shoes (haven't really browse on it too)
- Black Everlast Shoes (can't seem to find any photos of it online)
- Black Jeans
- New Dickies Haversack Bag (haven't really browse on it too)
- New tops (for some who've been dying to see me change, this is the right time. LOL)

That's about it, i believe. LOL.
Hopefully i'll get some of the above from some of you. *smiles widely*

p/s: honestly, i didn't really wanna do this wish list thing. all i've been praying, wishing and hoping for is for him to come back into my life. 'coz he's my only happiness i've ever had. *sigh*

-Even now while i hate you it pains me to say, i know i'll be there at the end of the day.-

hari raya 09.

2009-09-24T00:41:00.003+08:00

I'm left with nothing much to say.
There's just TOO many shitty things happened.
Therefore, to make it short, i would like to say..

Selamat Hari Raya to all my muslim friends.
Salah dan silap harap dimaafkan. (:

-I wish i could spend this very moment with you.-

love you till the end.

2009-08-31T03:49:00.004+08:00

It's been almost a week i've been staying over at my dearest god brother's condo. Awesome place. I get to rest my mind for a bit. Still, problems keep coming. Family and boo. Things came abruptly. Wasn't really prepared for it. But i'm coping it well and i hope i can get through all these as days goes by, insyallah. I love my family, i love my boo. That is all i care.
Staying at a condo. WOW. Relaxation. Period. Really had a great time staying here. I'm not sure when i'm going home. hahs. Didn't know my god brother and wife loved me so much to let me stay here for as long as i want. Bought me stuffs and such. I've never felt this kinda love for sooo friggin' long. I'm glad to have known these two angels. Love them to bits.

Days goes by,
Her love for him gets stronger.
No matter the problems they had,
They made it through together.
Things have been pretty rough for them lately,
They managed to pull it through.
She thanked ALLAH for everything.
For giving her the love of her life,
For the never ending arguments that made their love grew even stronger.
She have him, and he has her.
The love they have for each other, will never end.
That is all she's praying for.
Insyallah, everything's gonna be just fine.
AMIN.

-I love you like i've never loved before.-

Happy Birthday Aizat.

2009-08-23T04:41:00.003+08:00

Hello all.
Firstly, i would like to wish Aizat a very Happy 23rd Birthday. A bless to have a birthday on the month of Ramadhan, ain't it? LOL.

Let's see..
I spent my Thursday night at my god bro's condo. Was in a depression mode that time. Went home the next night. I had flu, headache, cough and a slight fever on Saturday. And i heard Belang missed me so. Like as if he knows i was in a very bad state, he laid next to me, waiting for me to wake up. Whenever he feels tired, he'll lie down on the floor, still in the room. He spent his day with me. It feels strange how cats can love a human being that way. He never did that to me. I feel loved, right at the time when i needed one. Thank you, baby. hahs.
Had a fun night. Accompanied Kathy to surprise Aizat, her beloved boyfriend, around his area. Despite the sickness i had, i had to follow her since i've promised. Met new guy friends, they're all funny in their own ways. I bet Aizat had a great night. I heard it was his first. HAHA.
I can't wait to break fast with them later. Damn, it's gonna be fun. At least, for a moment. I know i have to ease my mind at times. This is my chance. No matter the giddiness, the virus i'll spread. *evil laugh*

I'm gonna turn in now. The medicine is working~
And oh, to all my muslim friends, Selamat Menyambut Bulan Ramadhan. And i'm already facing so many challenges. Nevertheless, i'll never give up.

-I'll love you 'till the end.-

the love of my life.

2009-08-14T15:24:00.006+08:00

Hello all.
I've been really busy these few weeks. Sorry for not updating.
Now that i'm free, i'm gonna share some stories with you.
Last weekend was a tight schedule, bookings for karaoke system the whole 3 days. And i'm so relieved that i'm finally done with Psychology assignment. Up next will be Business Administration project. I hope it's not gonna be as tough as Organisational Behaviour.
So anyways, Bonz fetched me from school yesterday, then off to fetch Mama from work and had our dinner at around Mustaffa Centre. After that, sent us home, told me to get changed then we went to Vivo to watch G.I Joe: The Rise of Cobra, awesome movie by the way. Drove off to Mr Teh Tarik for supper then went to East Coast Park to chill.
Once we stepped in Vivo, i saw eyes staring at us. I knew this will happen. I'm not pretty and B's handsome, at least to me, so i believe people were talking about us. But we both know we don't care. We love each other, and that's that. It's official now, ain't it? (:
Oh, like finally? LOL. I really hope this will be my last. I'm tired of falling in and out of love again and again. Love you, B.
After all that, i reached home nearly 7 in the morning. Another long night out with B and for the first time i enjoyed feeling this way.

p/s: Kathy, sorry for not being able to join you guys. We needed some time to talk something out. I needed some clarifications, if you know what i mean.

-Finally, i've found the right one.-

i'm yours.

2009-08-06T21:01:00.002+08:00

Today is Thursday. I am physically and mentally tired.
I know i'm pressurized, but i'm not sure why i am not stressed up that much. Prolly 'coz i'm quite used to it.
I can't continue with my assignment. I'm having a headache. Not to the extend of reaching the worse yet. I hope it won't or i'll get very groggy.
So, the whole week has been rather busy for me. Either with work, school or shopping. LOL. I've hardly shop these days okay. Once in a while, why not, right? And oh, i've been feeling rather happy about how my life has changed bit by bit. Alhamdulillah. And yes, somebody has got to do with it. I rather zip it 'till it's official. (:
Oh my, i think i haven't got much to say. But i'm hoping, one day, that someone will read this. Someone who means rather alot to me. So, here goes.

To Dear Someone,

I've been trying to say this to you but i haven't got the guts to spit it out. So, here i am, hoping you would read this one day, with arms wide open, accepting every word i've to say.
Ever since i saw you, i feel as if my eyes were locked into yours. I just can't help but to stare at you, eyeing on every move you made. Yes, i find it cute. And that's what attracts me. The way you look back at me and smile, oh how i melt with it.
Oh, i know it's early to say that i like you, but there, i've said it. I like you, i do.
And it scares me to death knowing that the feelings i have, grew stronger. I never wanted it to happen. I know you wanted things to go slowly, it's what i wanted too. But i could never imagine it would turn out this way. After what i've been through with guys the past 3 years, i never thought i would fall for someone as fast as this again. Then i felt an overpowering heartbreak when i've been unintentionally hurting you. Deep in my heart, i would have never hurt you. It kills me to hurt you.
Sometimes, when you feel that your partner is too good for you, you tend to do stupid, unthinkable things. Either to get their attention or leave them 'coz you thought they deserve better.
With all my heart, i like you alot. But i'm not sure if you feel the same way for me. I never really see the signs. Then perhaps, i'm not good enough for you. So, upon reading this, i hope you know how i feel towards you. And the reasons to why i acted strangely. I felt insecure. And now that you've stopped contacting, somehow i already know what it means. I'll be prepared for the consequences. All you have to do is, take good care of yourself.
I guess, that is all i have to say. Hoping that you would forgive all my mistakes.

Much Much Love,
Ira

p/s: Bonz, thanks for always spending your night off with me. Coming down to the east just to see me. I appreciate it loads. I miss you to bits.

-Back to feeling lonely and i gotta get used to it yet again.-

memorable night.

2009-07-28T18:11:00.003+08:00

I had a super fun night yesterday.
Thanks to Aizat for inviting and not forgetting me.
Kathy, you've got yourself a very loving partner. How i wish i had the same. LOL.
So anyways, met Nana and Diana at Whitesands to grab some last minute stuffs. Took a cab to Pasir Ris Park and joined Aizat with his friend there. We quickly prepared the decoration of the place. I knew it wasn't gonna be that much of a surprise to Kat 'coz she's got a good sense. But i bet somehow she was surprised 'coz i'm there. hahs!
After all the photo-takings and stuffs, i called Adi. We were talking when suddenly Kathy interrupted and asked for him to come over. They chatted for awhile, i let them be. When my phone was handed back to me, i asked him if he was really coming. He thought about it for awhile 'coz he wasn't driving that night. I didn't really expect him to be there as it was very far for him. But he did, for the birthday girl and me. How sweet, right Kat? LOL.
He reached at the park around 12+ in the morning. Kathy and Aizat left us alone, to chill on the spider webs. We left the park about an hour later for supper at Teh Tarik, Afghanistan. I can see the boys are going on pretty well. I was glad. We headed to the nearest fitness corner and chill out. Kathy and Aizat left few hours later, looking really tired.
And.. i was left all alone with Adi, again. The second time we spent the night together. I was sent home, feeling pretty much happy that morning. (:

Didn't attend morning lesson just now. I couldn't get up. heh. But i went for the next lesson. And i'm super tired and sleepy now. Gonna take a short nap. Blog again soon. Take care, peeps.

-..and i am pleased.-

Gone too soon.

2009-07-22T18:50:00.003+08:00

The song Gone Too Soon is dedicated to Ryan White, a young victim of AIDS whom MJ befriended prior to his death. MJ performed this song at the ball for former President Bill Clinton's first inauguration on 20 January 1993, where he highlighted the importance of supporting research for a cure to this disease. It was also dedicated to Wylie Draper, a dancer and actor who idolized Michael and starred in The Jacksons: An American Dream portraying MJ. Draper died December 24, 1993 from leukemia.

Like A Comet
Blazing 'Cross The Evening Sky
Gone Too Soon

Like A Rainbow
Fading In The Twinkling Of An Eye
Gone Too Soon

Shiny And Sparkly
And Splendidly Bright
Here One Day
Gone One Night

Like The Loss Of Sunlight
On A Cloudy Afternoon
Gone Too Soon

Like A Castle
Built Upon A Sandy Beach
Gone Too Soon

Like A Perfect Flower
That Is Just Beyond Your Reach
Gone Too Soon

Born To Amuse, To Inspire, To Delight
Here One Day
Gone One Night

Like A Sunset
Dying With The Rising Of The Moon
Gone Too Soon

And now, i'm dedicating it to MJ. I love you always.

Met someone new yesterday. A friend of my superhero, MSN friend of mine. A coincidence. We knew each other for quite a long time, never once meet. I don't know if it's cool or not, though. heh. But anyways, had a great time with him. I thought we would meet for awhile. Never knew we would end up at East Coast Park listening to Misteri Jam 12 that night and got home around 5am. Thanks for everything, Adi. Meet you soon, bebeh.

-I saw that charm in his eyes and i was captured. Confused.-

Harry Potter & The Half Blood Prince

2009-07-20T00:29:00.003+08:00

Next in the list of my favourite songs is Ben.
Rumors said that this song was about MJ's pet friend, a rat. He was small when he found Ben, who was then named Mr Ratz, squealing around his kitchen at his family's home in Gary, Indiana. MJ would often share his stories to Ben while feeding him. Then one night, Ben was found dead by a mouse trap that was placed in the kitchen.

Ben, the two of us need look no more
We both found what we were looking for
With a friend to call my own
I'll never be alone
And you, my friend, will see
You've got a friend in me
(you've got a friend in me)

Ben, you're always running here and there
You feel you're not wanted anywhere
If you ever look behind
And don't like what you find
There's one thing you should know
You've got a place to go
(you've got a place to go)

I used to say "I" and "me"
Now it's "us", now it's "we"
I used to say "I" and "me"
Now it's "us", now it's "we"
Ben, most people would turn you away
I don't listen to a word they say
They don't see you as I do
I wish they would try to
I'm sure they'd think again
If they had a friend like Ben
(a friend) Like Ben
(like Ben) Like Ben

Harry Potter & The Half Blood Prince was interesting, but disappoints me at the end. No, i don't read any of its books but still, i must say the ending was upsetting. We are left hanging in the end. So, let's save our money and wait till the next movie comes. (:
Thank you sisters for the day out. It's been ages since we last met. I enjoyed myself pretty much. Love you both.

-One of a kind.-

Stranger In Moscow.

2009-07-19T01:24:00.002+08:00

Firstly, i would like to thank Kathy for the updates on MJ's funeral show the other night. I know it's been days over, but i was pretty lazy to type things out. As some of you may know that i've been somehow over-sensitive about certain issues, the fact that Kathy reminding me about the funeral show, i was seriously touched. She seemed to know how much MJ means to me. Thanks, babe. I may never knew about it until you texted me. I hardly watch TV anyways. (:

So, Patchwork Neurology's done with the final gig for now. We'll be rocking again roughly around Raya, insyallah. We're all in need of a break. It's been tough for us these few months. Nevertheless, we're still staying together as one.
Oh, i'm so looking for a part-time job now. hah!

Now, another favourite song of mine.
It is noted that in HIStory's album tracks like "Stranger in Moscow", were Jackson's response to his personal life.

In 1993, the relationship between Jackson and the press soured entirely when he was accused of child sexual abuse. Although never charged with a crime, Jackson was subject to intense media scrutiny while the criminal investigation took place. Complaints about the coverage and media included using sensational headlines to draw in readers and viewers when the content itself did not support the headline, accepting stories of Jackson's alleged criminal activity in return for money, accepting leaked material from the police investigation in return for money paid,deliberately using pictures of Jackson's appearance at its worst, a lack of objectivity and using headlines that strongly implied Jackson's guilt.

At the time, Jackson said of the media reaction, "I will say I am particularly upset by the handling of the matter by the incredible, terrible mass media. At every opportunity, the media has dissected and manipulated these allegations to reach their own conclusions".

I was wandering in the rain
Mask of life, feelin' insane
Swift and sudden fall from grace
Sunny days seem far away
Kremlin's shadow belittlin' me
Stalin's tomb won't let me be
On and on and on it came
Wish the rain would just let me

How does it feel (How does it feel)
How does it feel
How does it feel
When you're alone
And you're cold inside

Here abandoned in my fame
Armageddon of the brain
KGB was doggin' me
Take my name and just let me be
Then a begger boy called my name
Happy days will drown the pain
On and on and on it came
And again, and again, and again...
Take my name and just let me be

How does it feel (How does it feel)
How does it feel
How does it feel
How does it feel
How does it feel (How does it feel now)
How does it feel
How does it feel
When you're alone
And you're cold inside

Like stranger in Moscow
Like stranger in Moscow
We're talkin' danger
We're talkin' danger, baby
Like stranger in Moscow
We're talkin' danger
We're talkin' danger, baby
Like stranger in Moscow
I'm live in lonely
I'm live in lonely, baby
Stranger in Moscow

Imagine how humans do selfish things for money. Sigh.

p/s: Can't wait to meet my sisters tomorrow and watch Harry Porter! Yippee!

-I love the way you laugh, the way you shop. Everything about you puts a smile on my face.-

We Are The World

2009-07-10T14:29:00.004+08:00

We Are The World is a song written by Michael Jackson and Lionel Richie, produced and conducted by Quincy Jones and recorded by a supergroup of 45 popular musicians which includes the song writers themselves along with Stevie Wonder, Tina Turner, Billy Joel, Diana Ross and a few others with MJ's siblings, Marlon, Randy, Tito, La Toya, Janet, Jackie, also Smokey Robinson and other famous musicians as the extras.
This single was intended to raise funds to help famine-relief efforts in Ethiopia, which had experienced unusual drought and political instability in 1984/1985.
Imagine how brilliant MJ was and has ever been. He've always thought of the poor.

Here's the link to the video and the meaningful lyrics of the song. A superb combination of all the musicians. Rock and roll!

Click here to watch.

There comes a time
When we head a certain call
When the world must come together as one
There are people dying
And it's time to lend a hand to life
The greatest gift of all

We can't go on
Pretending day by day
That someone, somewhere will soon make a change
We are all a part of
God's great big family
And the truth, you know love is all we need

(Chorus)
We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me

Send them your heart
So they'll know that someone cares
And their lives will be stronger and free
As God has shown us by turning stone to bread
So we all must lend a helping hand

Repeat Chorus

When you're down and out
There seems no hope at all
But if you just believe
There's no way we can fall
Well, well, well, well, let us realize
That a change will only come
When we stand together as one

Repeat Chorus

-The greatest entertainer of all time.-

heal the world.

2009-07-09T14:03:00.003+08:00

Here's another favourite song of mine. MJ once said that this is the song he is most proud to have created. I believe he've been trying to heal the world and make it a better place. He was trying to change it. And he did, slowly.
I teared listening to it. Thinking back on how much he've done to change the world.

There's A Place In
Your Heart
And I Know That It Is Love
And This Place Could
Be Much
Brighter Than Tomorrow
And If You Really Try
You'll Find There's No Need
To Cry
In This Place You'll Feel
There's No Hurt Or Sorrow

There Are Ways
To Get There
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Little Space
Make A Better Place...

(Chorus)
Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

If You Want To Know Why
There's A Love That
Cannot Lie
Love Is Strong
It Only Cares For
Joyful Giving
If We Try
We Shall See
In This Bliss
We Cannot Feel
Fear Or Dread
We Stop Existing And
Start Living

Then It Feels That Always
Love's Enough For
Us Growing
So Make A Better World
Make A Better World...

Repeat Chorus

And The Dream We Were
Conceived In
Will Reveal A Joyful Face
And The World We
Once Believed In
Will Shine Again In Grace
Then Why Do We Keep
Strangling Life
Wound This Earth
Crucify Its Soul
Though It's Plain To See
This World Is Heavenly
Be God's Glow

We Could Fly So High
Let Our Spirits Never Die
In My Heart
I Feel You Are All
My Brothers
Create A World With
No Fear
Together We'll Cry
Happy Tears
See The Nations Turn
Their Swords
Into Plowshares

We Could Really Get There
If You Cared Enough
For The Living
Make A Little Space
To Make A Better Place...

Repeat Chorus x3

-No one can EVER replace you.-

Billie Jean

2009-07-08T01:11:00.003+08:00

Here's one of my favourite song from Michael Jackson.
It was written by Jackson and produced by Quincy Jones. The song lyrics refer to a real-life experience, in which a mentally ill female fan claimed that Jackson fathered one of her twins. I super love the bass line and MJ's vocal hiccups.

Billie Jean

She was more like a beauty queen from a movie scene
I said don't mind, but what do you mean I am the one
Who will dance on the floor in the round
She said I am the one, who will dance on the floor in the round

She told me her name was Billie Jean, as she caused a scene
Then every head turned with eyes that dreamed of being the one
Who will dance on the floor in the round

People always told me be careful of what you do
And don't go around breaking young girls' hearts
And mother always told me be careful of who you love
And be careful of what you do 'cause the lie becomes the truth

(Chorus)
Billie Jean is not my lover
She's just a girl who claims that I am the one
But the kid is not my son
She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son

For forty days and for forty nights
The law was on her side
But who can stand when she's in demand
Her schemes and plans
'Cause we danced on the floor in the round
So take my strong advice, just remember to always think twice
(Do think twice)

She told my baby we'd danced till three, then she looked at me
Then showed a photo my baby cried his eyes were like mine (oh, no!)
'Cause we danced on the floor in the round, baby

People always told me be careful of what you do
And don't go around breaking young girls' hearts
She came and stood right by me
Then the smell of sweet perfume
This happened much too soon
She called me to her room

Repeat Chorus

-It's the falling in love that i can't get over with.-

Exam was a disaster.

2009-07-03T20:37:00.005+08:00

I had my exam this afternoon.
Organizational Behaviour.
And i think i did it pretty badly.
It felt like a disaster. I remembered some but failed to answer most of them.
I just couldn't think.
Imagine this, while thinking of those answers, my mind slipped away to Michael Jackson's funeral.
I can't help but to worry how will MJ be buried. As one of the comments i read in a website, 'as long as Allah knows, we don't have to be worried. He's not dead. He's just going home.' It pleased me for a while.
And so, i am trying my very best to stop worrying and stuff.
But deep in me, i'm missing him badly.
I'm not insane, mind you. I've been obsessed to MJ since i was 3. Nobody knows except for my family. So, i don't care what others might say about me. And yeah, i'm pretty sensitive these days. The death of MJ was a real shock. I get sad easily. And of course, don't you dare talk negative of him. I might not care who you are, but i sure will erupt right in front of you 'coz people who talks about him, doesn't know the real him, and definitely has never-ending jealousy of him. He's an icon. No one ever thought about the poor until MJ brought it up and helped them in so many ways. He've such an angel's heart. And of course, singers like Usher, JT, etc. won't be well-known now, if not for MJ. The music, the moonwalk, the dance. Everyone tried to BE like him but failed. He's one and only.

And for that, i don't wanna brag about it anymore.
I love you, Mikaeel. May your soul rest in peace.

And oh, i spent my cash on a new bag, new dress, new 3/4 jeans and a skirt, those jeans material, by the way. Heh. I felt much better after doing some shopping.
I felt at ease.

-I'm never alone knowing you're here with me.-

hectic weekend.

2009-06-29T12:09:00.003+08:00

Hey guys.
Weekends are kinda interesting.
Mum brought me out on Saturday. She knows i'm really sad ever since my King of Pop is gone.
So, we went to Downtown East to watch Transformers: Revenge of the fallen. It's the 2nd time i watch this. First was with Hasni. Also, i was upset at that point of time. And prolly this movie is the only movie that can cure me for a while. heh.
After that, we went to Tampines One. Went for window shopping. I'm in love with 2 dresses at Dorothy Perkins. Told my friend to help me reserve it till dad give me some cash which i assume, when the day GST offset will come. Mum grabbed some fake eyelashes at SaSa and few more stuffs then went home.
Went for Wedding Karaoke the next day. I wanted to know the updates on MJ's funeral, so i asked Hafiz, my duet partner, to help me buy a NewPaper. And there, another story about MJ. But not the funeral though. Sigh. I really hope he'll be buried in Islamic way since he is now a muslim.
So, my brother was there for a while to get a VCD for a competition. Went off, and came back with a broad smile. His wife told me that he won the first place. I'm not sure where exactly, and what. But he've got some cash with him. Hahs! He told me to ask mum if she wants to follow them to AMK Hub later at night, to look for Adek's bicycle. Mum agreed. So, i went back home first, get changed then met them at AMK Central. There wasn't enough time to look for the bike since we went for dinner first. I was super hungry. Went to Pizza Hut, had our food fiesta there. Then we talked and talked until, the topic about MJ was brought up. I know it won't bring any good to me. And then... Mama told my brother, "Your sister was crying at home all day", then my brother replied, "Of course la! He's her favourite ever since she was very small. We even argued about MJ's video tape and all. But she never give in 'coz he was her only favourite that time.", then my eyes went watery but i hold back the tears. Mama was staring at me the whole time my brother remind us about MJ's time back then. Then she said, "She was 2 or 3 years old when she started watching MJ. I can never forget the time she kept repeating his videos every single day." And i thought i was 5. hah! Only my family knows how precious MJ is in my life. He was an inspiration and will always be.

I read Berita Minggu that morning, read about Lisa Marie Presley revealing what MJ was ever afraid of. Again, it brought me tears. He did die like Elvis, at a young age. The difference was how they both died. I never really know Elvis as he was gone before i was even born. Unlike MJ, i saw him on TV and started liking him ever since i know how to walk.
Uhh.. I've never cried for someone's death like how i cried for MJ. This is the first time, i cried for someone's death. He, who first brought a smile on my face, captured me with his songs and moves, and now, he's the first to bring me tears at the news of a death.
I've been trying to keep myself busy lately.
Knowing that MJ is gone, it affects my life bit by bit. I ate alot, seriously. I had too many ice cream these days. Just to please myself.
I can still feel the existance of MJ around me as i watched his videos on YouTube. I love him so damn much that i can go crazy knowing that he's gone now.

p/s: Congrats, bro. You are good. I'll be uploading your video in Facebook soon, depending on how many people wants to see how good you are. hahs.

-How he've changed my life back then and now.-

R,I.P Michael Jackson

2009-06-26T17:56:00.007+08:00

I Just Can't Stop Loving You

R.I.P Michael Jackson.
(1958 - 2009)

Heard the news. It's everywhere now. And to be frank, i can't accept the fact that he's gone.
I was happy when i heard he's converting to Islam and the next thing i knew, he's gone to where he first came from. I was, really devastated.

Mama text me while i was on the way to school, "Kak, you're FAVOURITE HERO is DEAD."
I was wondering who could it be. And when she told me it was my first idol ever, i was so shocked. I didn't know how and what to feel. I re-read mum's messages over and over again to make sure i read it right. Without realising, i shed tears in a bus. Oh, i so can't believe this.
Prolly most of you would 'wonder what's so good about MJ that people has to cry for him, anyway?'
I've never told anyone about this. But the truth is, i've always adored him since i was 5. I played his video tape and LD over and over again until the rest of my family members got sick and tired of it and scolded me for that. He moved me with his songs and choreography. I've started to love music ever since. He might not have made any impact to some people's lives, but he did to most of us. He was accused of child molestation. I didn't really believed that. We always knew that he love kids.
He've always tried to change the world to a better place. I absolutely adore his enthusiasm.
I now, trying my very best to not watch his videos. I know i'm not strong enough. And i feel like going to his funeral, in fact. heh.

I hope so bad, that the people who've known him personally would forgive his wrong-doings. There's no one in the world, who's perfect. So don't act as if you're all great.
Let us all pray for him. His life may be over for now but his songs and moves will never be forgotten. He will remain in our hearts.

... and i really feel a great loss.

The worse thing is, dreaming of watching him performing Live and now has to end here.
Maybe i'll see you in my dreams, Jacko. I'll always love you.

-Heal the world, make it a better place.-

super tired weekend

2009-06-21T20:05:00.002+08:00

Firstly, i would like to apologize for having such lazy fingers to update my blog.
I must admit, i'm pretty fatigue.
Had a long and tiring weekend.
Friday was a jamming session for PWN. Ended quite late.
My karaoke set was booked for a wedding occasion the next day, from 1pm to 8pm.
I had no choice but to miss yet another great performance by BlackDiscoBall @ Marina Barrage. Was upsetting, indeed. I've sent my apologies to Uncle Jiji. Sent my regards to the rest of them, hoping they would understand.
I had a great time on that Saturday though. 'Coz my crazy duet partner was around. From the starting of the event till the end, we were really catching up on things. We haven't been seeing each other for quite some time. Even my DJ's crazy. Tell me, how does it feels to work with 2 crazy man? Utterly cool!
I was laughing and smiling away. And there's this cute guy, i think he's married though. He smiled at me thinking that i was smiling at him. I took another glance and smiled back. (:
So anyways, done with that, rushed home. Unpack the stuffs then had a quick shower. Met Kathy at Teh Tarik. She was super duper hungry. And yeah, she was cranky 'coz i was late and she's totally famished. I apologised then head on to Teh Tarik and ordered our food. And oh, i saw another cute guy, he was with his family. The father looked pretty religious. I was practically staring at him, not realising it. Then.. I saw one thing that kinda shocked me for awhile but thought of it again as a common thing these days. I saw tattoos on his left arm. So, yeah. What a waste. heh. I hope he'll change for the better. *pahala doa untuk orang lain walaupun tak kenal. hee.*
Done with the meal, i told Kathy that i brought home some part of the wedding cake and asked if she would like to have some. Her eyes widened and then i know what it means. So, we went back to my place and lepak for awhile. Talked about some stuffs, then she went home. I had to wake up around 545am the next day. Recording session for PWN. Imagine that. I'm looking like a zombie now. But i can't sleep. There's visitors. I'm not sure who. LOL. I'll just wait till the time for a total worn out.

Oh, i sooo can't wait to watch Transformers 2: Revenge of the fallen. The soundtracks from different bands interest me so bad. I hope to watch it this Wednesday with an old friend. Super excited. Wuhoo!

Okay. Gotta end now. Wanna watch some movies to kill time. See ya!

-How i miss you so...-

tiresome.

2009-06-06T13:51:00.005+08:00

Got home late yesterday.
Took the last bus and reached home at about 1 plus in the morning.
Once in a while, it's fun. Ayie wanted me to stay with them(Qader & Zeek) for the first train but i felt sticky and reealllyy tired. So, i had to turn down his offer. He sulked for awhile. LOL.

We met at Far East Plaza to support False Pause at StreetClap 09. It was cool. We got clappers. Zak got herself a StreetClap tees while i got some sort of Youth Games goodies. We both were questioned by the host. Like as if Anabelle Francis know what i was thinking, i wanted to know what's inside the goodie bag. LOL. When she came nearer i was practically mumbling "oh shit. no no no. damn.", and Zeek was smiling. Then she called me up to get the goodie bag and asked, "What's your Name?", "Oh erm, i'm IRA.", "Congratulations AMIRA. Here's for you." -_-
I turned to look at my dearests and they were all laughing.
Then came the results. False Pause won 2nd place. They were awesome. Ashek didn't look like Osama that day. And Ian wears a mask out of a sudden. All of them looked mysteriously hot with their jumpsuits and all.
So, went to Taka Garden after that. Miru asked Yat along to the gents while we joined Yat's gf and her sister at the garden. She prepared the cake and waited for us to surprise Yat. It didn't really happen as planned 'coz Zeek wanted to do something else at the last minute. Miru called and already saying they are on the way there. Then thought of making it simple, but they've reached. So, it's no longer a surprise. heh.

The shy birthday boy.

And then, when the musicians combined.. Topics were everywhere. Soccer, music, this and that. So, i let them be. It's great to see how well they get along.

While the rest were busy chatting away, Qader's busy doing his "thang" with his skateboard.

Next up will be Arajua and BlackDiscoBall. heh. I can't wait to see this family clan of ours to build up and shine together.

Patchwork Neurology with False Pause.

-Team Ozawa.-

penniless yet again.

2009-06-05T01:14:00.008+08:00

Went out the whole week.
As Patchwork Neurology are all having a break, i've spent this moment of time to really catch things up with BFFs and family. Went out with mum and sis the past two days. Had a great time, great bonding, finally.
Yesterday's one of my BFF's birthday, Hadri. So, spent the day with them at Seoul Garden then Singapore Flyers. He turned 22. I believe he's very much proud of his age. LOL.
Happy Birthday, bro. You deserve the happiness you need. We'll always be there for you, man. Love you loads.

The birthday boy.

I really had a great time. Thanks to BFFs and their partners. They're all wonderful. That's them. No matter how far we are, we get even closer as time goes by. So cheerful, lovely, protective and always caring. I always feel secure whenever they're with me. Love you guys to bits.

From left: Lini, Ira, Fadhli, Arfas, Yana
Below: Hadri
Not in picture: Nad, Satria, Suzy

Gonna support False Pause later in the evening at Far East. After which will celebrate Yat's birthday. I hope we're all gonna have a great time despite the problems we had recently. As Ian from FP says, "do handle this case properly, k.. ", bet i would. heh. How great is it to have a family clan in the music industry. hahs. The care and concern for each and every members is always there.
Well, that's all for now. I'm tired. Gonna turn in rather early tonight.
Toodles!

-Never give up in simple distractions in life that can bring us down.-

sleepy.

2009-05-29T13:01:00.003+08:00

Hey all. I've been feeling very tired. I get worn out easily these days.
And so, i don't feel like going to school today. LOL.
But still, i'll drag myself to school. I won't wanna upset mum. heh.

Slept quite late yesterday.
Maybe one of the things i should stop doing is, being a night owl. -_-
Talked to Nirah about some unexpected stuffs, will explain later.
Hear Miru out 'coz he worries me lately.
Before all that, Al Hafiz came to my place again to record his song for the 2nd time after the 1st had been a failure. Alhamdulillah, a success i must say. The quality might not be that good, what do you expect, right? A budget recording. Home recording, my place, with too much of noise. hahs. But hey, i think it's worth for the 1st trial of TonePort and Audacity. heh. Here, as i promised him i'll only pass the song to Miru, so i've uploaded the instrumental version in here. I love the instrumental version. It touched my heart. (:

So after all that, Miru gave his comments and critics. I kinda find it hard to accept it, at first. But i realised he is good in these stuffs. So, i told Al Hafiz about it. He chose to just leave it as he believes, "It's just a song composing competition. Not a song recording competition."
Oh wells~
It's not worth the argument. Really. hahs.
Then Nirah nudged me. She talked about her problems. And i talked about mine. I feel comfy with her. She's a nice friend. So, i let it all out with her as she wants to know about Al Hafiz so much. Then she advised me on what to do and what not to do, based on her experience. I'm not sure if i'm gonna give it a try, but i think i've waited long enough and knowing that he's still living his life at his past, i know i can't win. I don't think i'm strong enough. Might be better off this way. Keep clinging on to him till God knows when. I love him, i still do. That's all i have to say. sigh

-Unfair.-

down. Down. DOWN.

2009-05-25T22:12:00.002+08:00

I feel real down now.
Problems came after another.
Al Hafiz came to my place for recording of his song.
Went pretty well at first, until..
The software created some problems. We managed to work it out soon after.
Then came another problem and so on. We were both tired by then.
The worse thing was, Rizzo went on stand by out of a sudden. I panicked. I seriously panicked.
The song was almost done. Left with the vocals only. After a few trials of trying to fix the problem, i ended up listening to Hafiz's "Just off it lah. What to do. We'll do it some other time."
I was upset. I bet he was twice as much.
He left home without hugging me. I guess he was very very much upset. Practically, it was my fault. It's my lappie. -_-
But, sigh.. What am i to do? Shit happens.
I really hate it when it has to end this way. No hugs. No handshakes. sigh

So anyways, gig was awesome. We had the best crowd ever. They were moshing around, headbanging and all. Poor Yat & Miru. Their stuffs got moshed too. LOL.
Videos will be uploaded in Facebook and Youtube very soon.
Thanks to our friends who came and showered us with the never-ending love and support.

The saddest thing is, to see with my own eyes, that you're still hoping for someone else.

-I've tried so hard.-

Alhamdulillah.

2009-05-06T12:58:00.002+08:00

(:
Upon seeing that sweet smile of mine in here(LOL), i assume most of you knows that i'm pretty much happy with the things happening in my life for now.
Met Al Hafiz, Hasni & Mama after school yesterday. Went for dinner at Century Square then to Tampines1. It's been a few months, i think, of not talking to Has. heh. I've always made the first move, you know. Hasni, if i've never love you more than a friend, i would've dumped you already. LOL. So we did quite alot of catching up. How i miss them both. (:
And.. yeah. Life's gonna be a lil better now. hahs.

So Love, is always about understanding one another.
Having trust in each other. Respect. Loyal. Honesty.
If one fails to do so, than the other would be either trying or give it up.
On a certain basis,
The one who tends to give up, is a loser.
Cause no matter what, they never really did try to make things right.
And for the one who keeps trying, is a winner.
Cause the Love for that someone is always there and is never going down without a fight.
Both hands would never clap if Love is never there from the start.
Fate is in the hands of the Almighty. You can never change it.
If He take the best from you, He'll give you something better.

-Alhamdulillah..-

Weekends.

2009-05-03T21:45:00.002+08:00

Hey all.
It's been a hectic weekend.
Had to rush here and there and i hardly have the time to rest well. But i think i'm gonna rest well enough this week. hahs.
So, the gig last Saturday was cool. An impressive performance by Patchwork Neurology. Although the showmanship was still not up to expectation, but i must say, the music was tight. I pretty much enjoyed myself with the music, especially Nosebleed, our one and only original so far. I am so proud of them.
After the gig, i had the intention to watch BlackDiscoBall at Prince Of Wales but i had no choice but to skip that as my bandmates are unable to make it. And i wouldn't wanna go alone, i'm a shy person. LOL. So, i followed Kathy, Aizat & Nana to Fathi's family chalet. I was having a massive headache that point of time. I was exhausted, i guess. Reached home at about 12am. Woke up at ard 11am the next day. And prepared myself to meet Kathy & Aizat at Simei to support Fathi & Eddy in Anugerah 09 auditions. And hell yeah, they made it! Got goosebumps while they sang. They were awesome. All the way, guys! Congrats!
Ok, after that.. I rushed to Somerset to meet the rest of my dearests and watch the Change Of Guards Parade. Ayie was playing the snares. He looked really cute in his No.1 uniform. And as always, he was good and looking good.
And so, i went home after that. I was pretty fatigue and hungry by the time i reached home. heh.
Well, that's all for now. Pretty much a boring entry, but i had fun this weekend. Thanks alot to the people involved. (:

And oh, tomorrow is my dearest crazy best friend's birthday and i've a little something-something for him. Here goes...

To the one and only,

Miru,
Time passes by pretty fast and it's been almost a year since we knew each other.
I thank ALLAH, for bringing me to you(vice versa. LOL).
It's been a great time having you around.
The fabulous memories we had. The ups and downs.
And no matter what happens, i still love you man. You're the best human being on earth i could ever find. A very talented musician with a creative mind. A caring, idiotic, loveable, lame, pathetic, craziest friend.
What more could i ask for? heh.
I really hope this friendship of ours will last till eternity.
I treasure you alot 'cause, you've been the pillar of my life.
Thank you for everything.
Have a blastful birthday.
ROCK ON, BROTHA! \m/

-..it starts with one thing.-

Day out with PWN.

2009-04-26T02:41:00.004+08:00

I had one tiring yet enjoyable day today.
Sadly, Luge and Skyride outing with Kathy, Nana & Fathi was canceled due to some reasons.
So, watched Festival Melayu Ada at Taman Warisan. Supporting Zak & Miru.
I met an ex there. Miru asked what's his name.. And i went, "oh, erm.. hmm.. omg. i forgot! i dunno lah! -_-". hahs. I was surprised myself. hee. After that, we had our dinner at Zam Zam Restaurant. Miru, Zak, Yat & gf went back to watch the gig while Ayie, Zeek, Qader and me went to Bras Basah Complex. Ayie wanted to get a tuner & metronome stuff. We hang around there for awhile then went to Paradiz Centre for Left4Dead game. Haha. The game is cool okay. I've played it thrice but i still can't get the hang of it. How pathetic. LOL. About an hour later, we planned to head home but Ayie was hungry and so was Zeek. We went to Lau Pa Sat for supper. Met Ayie's mum, dad and brother there and was sent home by Ayie's mum after that.
Long day. Long night.

And i'm still wondering if i can go to Miru's Family Chalet later this afternoon. *sigh*
Miru, sorry if i don't go okay. I know you've been there for many of my ocassions but perhaps i've to skip this one from you. But then again, i thought there will be someone who will replace me, no wait, who have been replacing me, your beloved girlfriend. LOL. Truly sorry okay. (:

-..and i'm confused.-

Gig & Chalet.

2009-04-13T19:10:00.002+08:00

Hello!
I'm back with a lot of stories to tell.
Gig was a blast. There were cock-ups but still, the gig was a great piece.
Thanks to the bands for making it happen.
Finally i get to meet my old close friend, Fakhrin, from Grave Silence.
The band was pretty tight and cool. For these years i've known Fakhrin, i never knew he can sing. With high pitch vocals. -_-
Great opening we had. And a havoc ending by Epicnosis. Cool shit, guys.

I would like to highlight these bands/crews, for making the gig a meaningful and enjoyable one:
Patchwork Neurology, of course. I love you guys to bits.
Black Disco Ball, for the crazy and perfect performance.
Grave Silence, for helping me with the security.
4Hate, for being there at the after gig party.
Kathy & Nana, for ALWAYS being there when i needed help on that day.
The rest of the bands who've performed.
And last but not least, to Mama for helping me out in so many ways. The chalet, the gig, the food. Everything. Thanks alot mum. Love ya.

I look forward to working with you guys soon.
(:

And not forgetting to my dearest and forever crazy best friend, the closest to me in the band, Miru. He've found someone new to fill up his lonely moments in time. LOL. Yes, he've found his soulmate. Congratulations, guys. May you both be happy and may this relationship last till eternity. *hugs*
(:

-The greatest moment of all time.-

if only..

2009-04-06T20:21:00.002+08:00

HELLO.

Okay. Let me start off by saying, i'm SICK.
Yeah. Haven't been feeling that well these days. Can't seem to rest well.
Prolly 'cause i think too much. Too many last minute problems and stuffs.
But i'm still doing fine. I'm still able to walk and talk. So, yeah.
Whatever it is, i can't wait for 11th of April.
I get way too excited about it. I hope my dearests are prepared for it.
Everything and anything, for them.

Well, nothing interesting to share with you guys for now.
Went to Marina Barrage with my cousins last night. A fact that the place is nothing much but a bore. The view is nice though.
So, i can't wait for the outing with my girlfriends. Plan fast, girls!

Oh, i'll be busy preparing for the gig and chalet. So, i'll do the updates next week.
Till then, take care people.

-If only we're not as close as this..-

always on my mind.

2009-04-02T16:29:00.003+08:00

I've been told that people are somehow great with their minds.
So, some are suspicious, some are clueless, some starts assuming.
Before it gets worse, i'm gonna stop updating about him for now.
It's gotta end somehow, right?
The time has come for him to be happy, and for me to be happy for him.
I love him, yes i do. But that doesn't mean i have to have him for the rest of my life.
Fate. I leave it all to fate.
And i've made up my mind to go with the flow. Let it all happen naturally. I won't change a thing. And i hope, it's for the better.

It's not about giving up. It's about giving in.

-Always On My Mind.-

2009-03-27T14:16:00.002+08:00

As i type this, my mind is jam packed with loads of things.
But what's most irritating is to have his picture on my mind. There are alot of updates from her that i realise she's never giving up on him. And it tore me apart. I can't do this anymore. Because every time i think of him, it suffocates me. On the other hand, i want him to be happy. The best for him. He, who matters most is slipping away. I need someone to talk to. But it's only 1420hours. Hero is working. Miss Curly is i believe, still snoring. I'll have to do this on my own. I'll just do whatever i can to ignore the pain. This time, it hurts so bad. I still can't believe i do stupid things just to relieve the pain when i know it hurts me more. And yes, i got scolding from mum last night. I deserve it somehow. I never did tell her anything about it though. All i said was, "Gig, mum. I'm afraid some bands are not able to sell off the tickets and i've to fork out my own money". Well, that's another thing i'm worried about. Sigh. I just hope all is well soon enough.

And Hasni, if you're reading this. Congratulations for getting yourself someone new. Hope this time works well for you. All the very best.

Ku akui ku sangat sangat menginginkanmu
Tapi kini ku sadar ku diantara kalian
Aku tak mengerti ini semua harus terjadi

Ku akui ku sangat sangat mengharapkanmu
Tapi kini ku sadar ku tak akan bisa
Aku tak mengerti ini semua harus terjadi

Lupakan aku kembali padanya
Aku bukan siapa-siapa untukmu
Ku cintaimu tak berarti bahwa
Ku harus memilikimu slamanya

..and tears fall.

-Just how can i lie to my ownself?-

Tragus Piercing.

2009-03-23T00:30:00.003+08:00

Back again. Just got back from posting up posters at jamming studios around Bugis, that we know and at Boat Quay. Fatigue i am. Nevertheless, i had fun. Especially with Ayie and Qader around. heh.
And anyways, i had my left tragus pierced. Yes. You read it correctly. I had that done yesterday with again, my dearests. I can't seem to do anything alone now. Because i keep depending on them sometimes. heh. I have to work on that. (:
So, yeah. My weekends are spent hanging around with my dearests. Sheesha-ing with them. Even Mama joined us. hahs. Still, no matter what i do, no matter how hard i tried, i fail to forget about him. Like i mentioned on my previous post, it's like clinging on me. Not wanting to let go. I know i had to, and i know it's gonna take some time. And i hope, i won't do anything stupid again now. Because, i know there are friends who love me and family to think of. So trying to do something stupid which will end up in a suicide, will surely be a huge NO. No more of it. Enough. Well, only if i manage to stop thinking about it, that is. I know, that's pathetic. But i can't help it!
So, i'm gonna say i will move on. I have to open up my mind and hold up a welcoming hand for new comers. Yes, i have to.

And there, Patchwork Neurology's own gig. 11th of April 2009. Do contact me for booking of tickets. Free soft drinks are given to the first 100 audiences!

Hope to see you guys there! (:

Thanks for those who've been hearing me out. Hero and heroine. I love you guys.

-I hurt myself again, still don't know why. I end up the same way each and every time. I can't avoid the truth.-

wish you knew.

2009-03-20T23:09:00.005+08:00

I've been silent for quite some time.
Another apology i seek. I've been pretty lazy to blog out about what has been going on.
But now, i've nowhere else to confide in. And so, let me begin.

There were confessions made last night.
And i'm pretty much confused on what i'm supposed to feel.
It's as if i've been frozen. Shocked, Happy, Hurt, Betrayed. It was jumbled up altogether. And i admit, i hate when those feelings came all at once. It's been a very long time since i felt that way.
I couldn't sleep last night. I tossed and turned. Then i gave up. I let myself feel sleepy on my own. So, at around 6am, i finally get myself some sleep. Woke up before 12pm. Called Miru to wake him up for Friday prayers. And then, i think about last night again. I couldn't take it. So i gave up on sleeping and forced myself to get up. Felt like i've been thrown a huge stone at the back of my head. And again, that headache i haven't been having for quite some time, came eventually. I did not want to care so much about it, so i turned on Rizzo, my lappie, and found myself looking at the screen for a while. Signed in on MSN, hoping my friends would ask me out. But sadly, none was free. So, i had no choice but to make a decision on what to do. Googled for some latest movie that's on theatres now. Found. Chat with dearest Miss Curly for awhile. She's been a very very good listening ear, i'm glad i knew her. She knows almost every single thing that's been going on with my life. I cried, i laughed, everything, with her. So i quickly washed up, got myself ready within an hour. Went out and proceed to Downtown East. Watched Paul Blart: Mall Cop. I was looking for a comedy. So, this was the only thing i could find. And yeah, it was hilarious. I didn't care about whoever's beside me, i just laughed my ass off. After that, went to Pasir Ris Park, as planned. Strolled down the beach for a while and took a seat somewhere at the end. And then, i remembered, i bought something earlier at Cheers. Something i haven't touched for soo loong. Cigarettes. Yes. Ciggies. Without any hesitations, i took one stick, light up and breathe in. I haven't been feeling as calm as this. Done with that, i inhaled the air. Cold breeze, i shivered for awhile. Took my mp3 and listened to my favourite songs. And then, the track which i wanted to avoid from listening, played through the earphones and then, my ear. I never skipped. I let it be, and then tears fall down. Yes, i couldn't help but to think about last night again. Without knowing, i repeated the song over and over again. Took another ciggy and light it up. With that done, the headache comes again. I tried to remain myself calm and after a few minutes, another ciggy has been lighted up. That, done too, i felt an extraordinary pain on my head. I cried, trying to hold back the pain. And then i felt nauseatic. Wanted to throw up but couldn't force myself to. So i tried to walk, head home. I was feeling very weak by the time i left the park. I hailed for a cab. Hoping to feel better once i'm in. Failed. It got worse, in fact. Felt like my hair's been pulled backwards. Reached home, freshen up, took some medications and rest.

I know, i may have done the stupidest thing. Doing the things i knew, would hurt me most. But for once, i enjoyed the pain.

When the darkness finds the night
My heart still beats for you
In your eyes I see the light
But what can I do, I tried my best to walk away
So I don't have to feel the pain
It goes on and on, on and on
And this emptiness I feel goes on and on
On and on
As I cried myself to sleep I just can't go on
On and on
When this love I feel for you is oh so strong
On and on, on and on
Why can't I feel your heartbeat next to mine
The way it used to be
I love that purpose felt so right
I need you to see I try my best to walk away
But I just can't ignore the pain
It goes on and on, on and on
And this emptiness I feel goes on and on, on and on
As I cried myself to sleep I just can't go on
On and on
When this love I feel for you is oh so strong
On and on, on and on
Can I find a way to let you know
Could I ever make you see
Baby you took my soul and took my heart
But the pain you left all for me
It goes on and on
On and on
And this emptiness I feel, it goes on and on, on and on
As I cried myself to sleep I just can't go on
On and on
When this love I feel for you is oh so strong
On and on, on and on
You've got someone else to share your nights
I guess it's meant to be
In your eyes I see the light
But the light's not from me
I turn around and walk away
But I'll never escape the pain
It goes on and on, on and on
It goes on and on

p/s: Million thanks to Asri & Idah for being the best advisor i could ever seek. Love you both.

-Betrayed myself and eventually, hurt myself. What else can i do?-

3rd placing.

2009-03-09T22:39:00.002+08:00

I'm superly fatigue.
I apologized for abandoning my blog yet again.
I've been busy with stuffs.
Didn't get the chance to update anything in here. In fact, i've no idea what to talk about. heh.

So, i'm taking this opportunity to tell you guys that..
Patchwork Neurology got 3rd placing for TalentQuest 09.
And of course, i'm proud of them even though it was so unsatisfying.
Zeek's amp created some problems. In the end, Miru was left alone playing the guitars. Luckily, it still sounded good. And then i thought, there goes getting at least 2nd place. hahs. But that's fine.
There's always a next time in everything, right? Oh wells...

Mum's doing fine, so far. Still having headaches though. Maybe it's the medicine effect or something. Hopefully she'll recover soon.
I am so in need of a break now. Too stress over the band stuffs. Preparing this and that. And oh, i can't believe Ayie and Miru said i looked thinner. I thought i ate alot when i'm stressed out. Ok. That's a good sign. I should be skipping some meals and maybe start to exercise abit. HAH!

And so.. I've nothing else to talk about. Will update soon!
(:

-Blissful Agony-

when the bad news came after the good news.

2009-03-01T00:43:00.002+08:00

It's been 3 nights Mama has been admitted to CGH. She had bad migraine, bad heart condition and high blood pressure. It all started with some arguments between her, her friend and Iqa. I didn't know anything until one by one, called me on my mobile. I was shocked. Didn't know what to do. It's a long complicating story. So, i don't wish to story-tell in here. I've let it all out to Ayie, my dearest PWN hero, last night. From the day i cried in front of Miru, 'till the night i felt like killing my dad. And yeah, i cried after letting it all out. He even told me he felt like crying, hearing my story. LOL. I'm not sure if he does. And yeah, problems just grew bigger at times. I must say i was out of control. It has always been me as the middle person, the one who has to think of what to do, the one who have to have a solution to every problem there is. And i swear, it tires and sickens me out. And then, it's back to square one. Me being quiet with nothing much left to say.

Mum, it's never a burden to hear you out. Every single problems you have, it's my responsibility to listen and do my best to make things right. I just don't feel comfortable telling people about my problems. So, i tend to shut myself. Coz i've learned, in life, you can't rely on anyone but yourself. Sharing others, might burden them too. I've been there. And it hurts to have trusted someone, but in the end, they gave up on us. So let me carry all this alone and find the way out to every dark moments we have. I love you. So if you were to go, i'll follow wherever you'll be. PWN can take good care of themselves.

p/s: Thank you, Hasni & Kathy. For visiting Mama. I appreciate it alot. Let us all pray for her well-being.

-It's never easy to make a wise decision.-

ITE Band Idol 09!

2009-02-26T00:25:00.003+08:00

Our sacrifices have finally paid off.
We got 2nd place for ITE Band Idol 09. Alhamdulillah~
And it was all unexpected. I was honestly a lil bit disappointed with their performance. But after they explained, i think i understand their situation, somehow.
We were all extremely happy but unsatisfied still. 'Coz they expected the 1st place. However, getting 6 trophies and 1 big trophy(for me), is good enough. It's just a beginning. I know we can do much better in the future.
From ITE Macpherson's hall, we went down to the canteen to meet Mama, who've been waiting and keeping an eye for the stuffs. We decided to give her a surprise. So we actually told her we didn't win, hiding our trophies at our backs. And when finally i couldn't help it, i showed her the big trophy i was holding. And she was half-stunned and said, "I knew you guys will be going home un-empty handed." And yes, i am proud of myself for making Mama proud of me and the boys. So we went to Vivo City's Ben & Jerry's to celebrate this once in a lifetime token. It was on Mama and myself. FINALLY, a brand new start for all of us. Hoping to get 1st place for TalentQuest 09.
Here are some pictures taken after the show and at Ben & Jerrys.

2nd place! Hell Yeah!

They love their BM. LOL.

Zeek is gone. LOL.

The lepak couple.

TalentQuest 09, here we come...!

-The Only Way..-

St James finally.

2009-02-13T01:18:00.002+08:00

FUH.
I just got home. Been busy the whole week.
With bandmates, then catch things up with BFFs.
And oh, i met my BFFs yesterday.
Was supposed to meet them around 4+ at Plaza Singapura. But Fas couldn't make it that far. So i told Fadh to change venue to woodlands. He told me he would get back to me. So, i waited. Went to Parkway Parade for awhile to have dinner with Mama..and shopped for some stuffs. hahs.
Then meet the rest at Causeway Point. Was happy to finally meet them. Fadh's going to Brunei soon. So, he wants to meet me like ASAP. Then came the invitation to St James. Fadh was like, "Ira, let's go St James. I'll be going off to Brunei soon, you know. When else can we have so much fun together..? Please...? Had, Azim and Haizel's going. Go, please...?"
I was definitely in feeling of guilty. Those who knew, i've been wanting to go St James all this while. But i've been having those nervous breakdown kinda thing when it comes to clubbing. Never been there. So, yeah. hahs. So when Azim, Haizel & Had came, they all persuaded me to go and making sure that they will take good care of me. So i told Mama, she got jealous instead of saying NO. Lol. And there, finally. Ira Syahirah goes to St James. My thought was obviously running..thinking.. And of course, i would be happy to meet my dearest Superhero there. And yeah, i did get to see him. I was wanting to actually call n say Hi, but can't bring myself to because firstly, i didn't want him to actually nag at me right there. Secondly, i was afraid he might not recognise me. And thirdly, i was shy. LOL. So, yeah.. I was observing him from far. And when finally i've collected my strength, i tapped him on his stomach. He smiled and wave. Thinking if he actually know it was me or some other girls who just suka-suka do such things. Lol. And OOHHH, he's definitely 101% HOT. Like none other i've seen. His parents must be hot too. heh. Ok, so here's how the conversation like in MSN later, when we reached home.

Me: psst.
Superhero: i saw u lah...
Superhero: u ah..
Superhero: come lah say hi..
Me: haha
Superhero: ni tap me then go away
Superhero: ape lah....
Superhero: i da lah bz..
Superhero: ramai kan tadi...
Me: abeh nk teman my frens..
Me: i kan penakot..
Me: lol
Me: oh. tak kena lecture eh?
Me: haha
Superhero: takot ape???
Superhero: lecture ape??
Me: u know la.. sejak bila i club. mane tau kena molest ke ape2..
Me: lol
Me: yela.. lecture sebab gi club.
Me: haha
Superhero: ape je..
Superhero: wat time u left??
Me: haha
Me: till it closes uh..
Superhero: pandai plak u noe its me..
Superhero: hahaha
Me: its obvious sia..
Superhero: look same ke cuter??
Superhero: hahaha
Me: haha
Me: my superhero looks da same. da jeff-hardy look alike.
Me: HOT.
Me: lol
Me: actually i saw u since da ferst thing i went inside.
Me: i nk pgl, tapi suara ilang.
Me: -_-
Me: so i was like tgk2 u buat kerja je la..
Superhero: ia ke??
Superhero: u saw me where??
Superhero: come up to me lah...
Superhero: ape lah u..
Me: hahs
Me: tkt u tak kenal..haha
Superhero: i noe. u tap me juz now n go.. so fast also i noe its u
Me: i tot u dunno seh..coz u were like smiling gitu2 je..
Me: haha
Superhero: i wanted to call u..
Superhero: then u like go already..
Me: sebab i know u bz.. lari sane sini.. so i pon like -_-
Me: biarkan lor..
Me: den i saw u standing at the spot where my frens were dancing..
Me: nk tegor, again.. tkt u tak kenal..
Me: haha
Superhero: where??
Me: erm..
Me: where i tapped u, jln teros je..
Me: alah.. dkat ngan seats uh..
Me: n da platform.
Superhero: ouh..
Superhero: tak perasan lah..
Superhero: now u like menyesal kan tak tegur me..
Superhero: hahaha
Me: sebab i sembunyi2..haha
Me: menyesal? not really uh..
Me: dpt tap dah bagos..
Me: lol
Superhero: so was it gd???
Me: to me it was fun uh.. klakar pon ader.
Me: all the time i was laughing sia.. stand at da side, tgk my frens joget.. dah mabok2.. bbl mepek.. i tak tahan.. geli hati..
Me: haha
Me: abeh ader pompan mane ntah ajak me joget.
Me: like -_-
Superhero: ouh.. u drink too??
Superhero: dosa seh
Me: no uh..i drank coke.
Superhero: tipu seh.. mesti minum sikit kan??
Me: i nk try sikit tapi my frens tak bagi......
Me: beettoolll..
Superhero: asal nak try??
Me: nasib baik my frens all responsible ppl..
Me: haha
Superhero: sikit pon dosa seh
Superhero: dont eh... nak come n dance ok.. but dont drink!
Me: sebab my fren bought bourbon coke.. den i nk try la.. rasa dia ape.. haha
Me: erm..
Me: see.. ni part uh tak suka kalau bilang u i turon.
Me: -_-
Me: lol
Me: tapi i know la..
Me: i wont drink.
Me: joget pon sikit2.. mane i tau joget.
Me: hahahaha
Superhero: tak tau joget then the whole nite u do wat???
Me: i ketawakan org je..
Me: lol
Superhero: ouh.....
Superhero: then yr ladies coupon u do wat??
Superhero: change all coke??
Me: no la..
Me: i bought one coke.. den da rest my frens yg order..
Superhero: y u give yr coupon to yr frens..
Superhero: its yours wat
Superhero: can take juice wat..
Superhero: wasted kan..
Superhero: got 5 wat
Me: well..
Me: takpelah... yg kehausan dorg.. bukan me..
Me: hahs
Superhero: oh..
Me: tadi got one part ur face funny sia..
Superhero: y ah?
Me: da 'wth is this..?' nye expression. time u diri kat my area..
Me: haha
Me: coz i think ramai lalu lalang.. den ader joget kat tangga n all..
Me: hahs
Superhero: ya lor.. irritating seh
Me: haha
Me: tu part pon dari jauh i ketawakan..
Me: haha
Superhero: i hate seh ppl yg joget like so semangat..
Superhero: mcm nak kene sepak je..
Me: hahahahahaha
Me: sume kat situ joget dgn penuh semangat..
Me: lol
Me: kekek seh..
Superhero: u pon mesti sama jugak..
Me: nnt i turon again.. kita ketawa same2 uh.. lol
Me: ape lak sama??
Me: joget pon tidak.. ketawa sampai tekak kering ader lah..
Me: haha
Superhero: nak come again ah ni??
Superhero: hook???????
Me: marah?
Me: tak bleh la ni????
Me: hahahaha
Superhero: da agak nya..
Superhero: baru2..
Superhero: nanti lama mabok..
Superhero: then balik wit guys
Superhero: u ah...
Superhero: jaga2 ah...
Superhero: dont till too bad ah..
Me: aiye...
Me: tak lah.........
Me: org gi pon kena paksa seh tadi..
Me: i wont be wearing like dat if tau nk gi st james.

...and bla bla bla... too long to continue. hahs. Well, that's my Superhero. And that's the reason i call him My Superhero. So much love and care..and sometimes hate. hahs. He just love to create the cold atmosphere sometimes. But i still love him. Because that's just who he is.

So, i reached home around 7am in the morning. Chatted with Superhero for awhile then slept at 9am. Woke up around 2pm. Then went online again. Needed to talk to Miru about our plan in the evening. So, yeah. I'm getting him a pedaltrain on his birthday. His rib condition is freaking me out. So, i thought this might help wonders, hopefully.

Ouhk. I'm done here. Update soon!

-Happy Birthday, Dearest Ayie.-

2009-01-28T12:10:00.004+08:00

It's been one of the craziest days for the past 2 days. Let's see.. Where should i start...?
Ok. So, the boys and i(except for ayie, zeek and idah), went out last Monday. Celebrated our CNY at Mustafa Center. LOL. Zak joined us too. I bought some deodorants and travelling pack shampoo, just in case it's out of stock at home. They're all cheap. $2.50 for an Adidas Deodarant Spray? Wow. heh. Miru and myself grabbed them. And i've tried. It stayed for long! Power kapah..! So Micey Miru bought deodorants, VS body spray, shaver and it's gel. After that, we went for dinner at my favourite 24-hours thosai shop. I don't know the name, but i know it's nice. Heh. We all ate thosai since i recommended it. Hahs. After all that done, we headed to Bugis. Lepak-ing there till morning. Walked pass through Jalan Kubor. The intention was to scare me out. But i knew their silly idea, and remained as cool as possible. We went in that road, our right and left view were filled with tombstones. I didn't dare to look around as i felt something, and already shivering by then. Then.. I smelled that scent. The Frangipani scent. I looked at Yat, who was walking beside me, looking around, then he turned to look at me, and the smiled, pulled me to the other side which puts me in the middle, and kept walking. Then we saw this Indian Bapok with some men. That cracked some laughter among us. LOL. Thinking if they are OK. What are they doing on that road? Especially tombstones are all around. JENG JENG JENG~ We may never know, do we? LOL.
Finally, we reached the end of the road and headed towards Bras Basah Complex. I still felt something strange, so i kept quiet. Then Qader asked, "Ira, why the silence? You smell it, don't you? Hahaha. I love the smell sia". -_- I love this guy whenever he tried to make me laugh. It seemed cute to me. Haha. And then Miru's turn to ask, "Ira, asal senyap? Kena sampuk pe.. Haha!" another -_- . Then he continued, "Let's continue walking to the other side uh. Explore.", i replied, "No Way. Enough of it today. I ain't ready for it.", he reply was, "That's the catch. It's better if you're not prepared for it. It won't be an explore if you're prepared.", then i said, "I know myself, Miru. I know what will happen. And i don't want it to repeat again. Not this time." Then he went on.. I know he's unhappy about it. Hahs. Well, too bad. I know myself better on this. And i won't do what i don't wanna do. Especially when my instincts say it's right.
So, we reached Bras Basah Complex eventually. I was still silent. Didn't wanna talk much. Irritated by Miru's childish acts. We went to MacDonalds and played Uno. After few rounds of playing normal Uno, we played Wolf & Hunter. One hell of a great game. Hahs. Qader's a good actor, btw. LOL. And so is Miru. -_-
After all that, Zak's friend came and joined us.. Then we played Black Magic. What a game. Hahs. Cracked our heads to figure out the trick. Finally, at around 6+ in the morning, we head home. The next day looking like a zombie. LOL. Went to Waterloo St. Jamming session started at 3pm. I was pissed because of someone. The mood for jamming faded. Since they decided to play acoustic, we went for it still. But this time round, the atmosphere was totally different. At Odiocrib Studio. The big room. So spacious that i can actually lie down and sleep. LOL. By 5:15pm, we started packing. Met Zak again, at Bras Basah Complex. Idah had to leave for some reunion dinner. Heh. We had our dinner at MacDonalds. Then played Wolf & Hunter again. Hahs. Afterwhich, came the trick game again. Felt silly though. Hahs. We left MacDonalds around 1045pm and head home.

So, ITE Band Idol is just a day away. And i pray the very best for my dearests. Since it's my last week at work, i can't possibly take leave. My pay will be indeed, as low as it already is. I just hope everything will go smoothly tomorrow and hope to meet them after that. Good Luck, darlings.

-A good actor, lies the best.-

2009-01-25T12:28:00.003+08:00

WOW.
Alhamdulillah. Gig's over. Looking forward for the competitions now.
And to those who came, a HUGE thank you i must say, to you guys. Thanks for supporting PWN. You guys rock!

PWN with Friends & Families
Not in picture: Hasni & Nadiah

So yesterday was lotsa fun. Didn't expect huge response from our friends and families. There are last minute ones. 15 tickets wasn't enough. If i knew, i would've get 20 tickets and ask for my $25 back. LOL.
Videos will be uploaded in YouTube pretty soon. Waiting for Micey Miru to transfer the files. And oh, i forgot that i haven't update the updates in MySpace. LOL.

Anyways, wish us luck for Thursday and Saturday's competition. ITE Idol & Battle Of The Band 2009, here we come~!

p/s: I still can't believe someone just said we're kerek. Nevermind that. We're the low-profilers. LOL? (:

I felt nothing when you went silent. I just wonder why you did that. Nevertheless, Idah told to never ask anything. If he were to come back, JUAL MAHAL. LOL. Have been doing that, though. Only thing, he's been too sweet to ignore. So i thought it's worth a try. But i guess, that didn't turn out right. So, i'm gonna stick to being ME. Ignorance is a bliss~

-It goes on and on..-

2009-01-23T14:07:00.002+08:00

Time passes by so fast without me realizing it.
It's Friday already. Just a day before our gig.
And i must say some of my boys are pretty hyped up about it. Some just don't care. And to the ones who don't care, i'll make sure they CARE. Reputations and discipline are the top priority for me, as their BM. So i'm gonna make sure they practice hard. I wouldn't want them to turn down their friends and fans who's coming. Ok. I'm super-excited about tomorrow. But Micey Miru is sick. That worries the hell out of me. Hopefully he's fine soon. Anyways, after a very long time since i've been to a date, i'll be going for one tomorrow, eventually. Heh. That surprises me. To not feel the excitement and the eagerness to go for a date. I've gotta work on that. Maybe it's been awhile.. So.. yeah. Urgh. So much things to do. So much things to think of. I just don't know where to start.

So, the planning of our own gig is almost done. A need to have a crew meeting soon. Need some ideas and feedbacks. And then gather the bands for a mass meeting. Afterwhich, prepare the posters, tickets and lanyards. I hope the crew are co-operative enough in helping out with all these..
I'm so gonna need a new job soon. For the preparation of the gig. I've had some. But afraid it won't be enough. *sigh*
Quitting soon.. Like end of the month. 'Coz of some complications. Heh.
There are some offers. But.. i don't know if i should take up that opportunity. I'm afraid of getting too much stress. I don't wanna go crazy in the end, you know. Hmm.. Maybe i should just try and decide later.

BFFs. When will i ever meet you guys?? Make a date! I'm missing out stuffs! heh.

I miss my brother. Gotta catch things up with him soon.

-Hypnotised and Mesmerised.-

Happy Birthday Dearest Auntie & Idrus.

2009-01-19T01:08:00.002+08:00

Firstly, i would like to wish dearest Aunt & friend, A Very Happy Belated Birthday. Heh. My aunt, Maknia, turned 61 and dearest friend, Idrus, turned 25. Falls on the same day! Had a small birthday party at home earlier. Had to rush from Bugis to Tampines since brother was somehow mad at me for going out when i know he's gonna be there early. There was a jamming session. I can't possibly leave my darlings just like that. I had to watch them and spot their mistakes. It all ended around 6+. So, PWN and me quickly rushed home. Since Maknia invited PWN at the very last minute, i had to tell them like a day ago about it. They seemed half-hearted at first. And just just now they all decided to go. And i was like, OOOK~ Things have been pretty tight for me. Rushing here and there. So i didn't invite my dearest girlfriends. Since i knew i'm gonna reach home quite late and dear Hasni won't be able to stay up late. I deeply apologise for that. It was uncalled for. So, i hope you girls can understand that.

So anyways, sincere apologies for abandoning this dusty blog i have. It's not that i don't have anything to blog about. I just can't seem to bother about it. I don't know why. I feel like blogging, but i'm just too lazy. To type it out, explain it all. It's just so complicating. And with all that said, dearest Qader seemed to understand my problems. He've helped alot. Searching for sessionists, settling this and that. I've just realised how sweet he can be. And i admire that side of him. But to recall that i've lost someone whom i used to share my everyday life with, not that he's gone totally, he just refused to be that person i knew before anymore, it saddens me. BIG TIME. And yes, i gained a new one. But it's never the same. And i just have to move on. That taught me something. To not rely on others too much. Even though it hurts, i still love him like i used to. That never changes. It will NEVER do. Dearest Miru, do go for check-ups soon. It sickens me out to know that you're not okay. Stop worrying me. 'Coz i can't stop until i know you're okay.

I guess i'll stop here now.
Getting pretty tired while thinking of a place to go for a date.
Help me think, someone? LOL.

-When i thought it feels different. It remains still. Or perhaps, getting stronger.-

Belated Birthday Prezzie!

2009-01-05T22:54:00.002+08:00

Wuuuhhooooo!(imitating Missy Fatin's tone.)

I had fun, just now. Met Qader after work. He accompanied me to Sim Lim. I got myself a new External Hard Disk and a new D-Link USB Adapter. Like FINALLY.. finally i can have more space in my hard drives and..... i go wireless again~
Ok power.
After that, we went to Tong Seng to meet Hasni & Fatin. Had dinner then off we went to shop. Poor Qader had to be alone while we shop. Sorry, Panda...
Bought Hasni her birthday gift, a Freshbox bag. It's nice. I wanted to get one for myself too, but my file cant fit in. So, i had to forget about it. heh. Then Hasni bought me a necklace. Oh, she bought one for Fatin too. For both our belated birthday gifts. Happy Belated Birthday, btw, Fatin. Wuhhhhooo!

So, good news. Patchwork Neurology got into finals in TalentQuest 09. It will be held at Rock Auditorium on early March. Will update again on that. Congratulations, guys. I never saw it coming, honestly. But hey, you guys were great. It was definitely better than Asian Beats. So, congrats again. Video will be posted up real soon in YouTube. Dearest Miru is busy. So, gotta wait for awhile.
Schedules will be tight for us. We're preparing for the competition and some other gigs. And again, of course i'll keep you guys updated.

That's all for now. I'm pretty shagged. See ya!

-2009. Sure is shining on us.-

The unexpected.

2009-01-04T22:41:00.003+08:00

I don't know why.
I tend to get pretty stressed up over small things.
And yes, that includes getting mad easily, throwing tantrums anytime, anywhere..etc
I'm afraid of my old self. Is it finally showing? Is there a comeback?
I pray hard, that never happens. It's not about being afraid of having no friends, being lonely.
It's about hurting the people i love most, torturing them, and having regrets later on.
I've had enough of that in my past. No repeats, please.

So, i met my dearest ex yesterday, at Changi Village, with maybe his girlfriend. There was 5 of us, sitting next to my ex's table. And hell yeah, i felt real uneasy. Firstly, i wanted to meet him so bad after the break-up. I heard loads of things happened to him after i left him. And i felt bad, seriously. Secondly, he's with maybe a new girlfriend. They didn't look like a couple. So, might be yes, might not. I was trying so hard to not look at him since my back is facing them. But he saw Mama. And since, Iqa said he kept looking over our place, i assume he knew i was there. So when they were leaving, he walked behind the girl, took a glance at me and smiled. O M G. How i miss that smile. -sigh- From that moment on, the memories keep flashing in my mind until i fell asleep in the car. And yes, i felt a huge regret. Like a big hard rock dropped on me. I felt real heavy. I wanted to keep in contact with him so bad. Since the last 2 years. I looked for him almost everywhere. And when i knew where he was at that point of time, i lost hope. I knew i gotta move on. And, so here i am. When i thought i'm never gonna bump into him ever again. Indeed, SG is small.

Oh Come On! I don't need this mushy-mushy feelings now. Gotta get hold of myself. Move on. And then when the day i bump into him again, i'll start that all over again. -_-
Geez! Ok. Enough. I gotta change myself, again. Before anything else happens. Not only for myself, for the people i love too.

Dear god, help me yet again.

-Unexpected Comeback-

Happy 2009!

2009-01-02T15:38:00.002+08:00

Ok. I might be late but still, Happy 2009, people!
May this year's a better year with better resolutions to fulfill. Above all, hope this year's gonna be a BRIGHTER, INTERESTING and MEANINGFUL year.

Went out on the eve of new year. Met Has, Fatin & Pe'ah to celebrate dearest Hasni's belated birthday at Seoul Garden. Happy Belated Birthday, girlfriend. May all your wishes come true. Be a good girl now.
After that, met Miru and Yat around Marina Square. While waiting for the fireworks, we sat at the Marina steps. Laughing, joking and making fun of people around us. The fireworks was a BOMB, especially the last part. Massive attack. heh. So we didn't really celebrate as we are NOT allowed to do so, as a Muslim. And oh, i must say i was exercising myself with the boys. From Marina Square, we went to Bugis, the intention was to have dinner at Tong Seng. But the food stall's closed. So we went to Arab Street. Which was indeed, a far journey. As Miru wasn't that full, we went to Kopitiam opposite Bras Basah Complex after that. And again, closed. So we hang around at MacD until 6am. Miru didn't want to leave yet, but at that point of time, a group of Matreps came in and one of them started to disturb me.. So i begged Miru, for us to leave. I took the chance to leave first when i saw THAT Matrep went to the Gents. Once i lost his sight, i moved quickly to the exit. And then..*phew*
I was embarassed by what he did. Waving at me. Staring at me. Trying his best to get my attention. There's this cute guy beside my table, took a glance at who THAT Matrep was teasing. I caught his sight and then.... *dag dug dag dug* haha! Cuteness. But heck, i was feeling very uneasy at that time. And wanted to leave that bad. Stupid Typical Matreps. -_-

So, i guess. That's all for now.
Gotta get ready to meet the boys and.. waiting for updates from my sis-in-law in regards to my brother's condition. Another accident. I wonder how bad, this time. -sigh-

-Live it Loud.-

vampire sweetheart, please?

2008-12-24T09:41:00.002+08:00

Ok hi, people.
I know i haven't been updating that well, this month. And i don't know why my enthusiasm isn't there where it's supposed to be. Nevermind that. Here i am.. blogging this.. with excitement on my eyes. Wide smile on my face. (i looked in the mirror. that's why i know how i look like while typing this.)
So.. Weekends have never been different. Hectic. But i'm getting used to it, which i'm not supposed to.. -sigh-
Well, anyways.. The movie i've been waiting for is finally on theatres. Watched it on the day it's officially showing. Twilight. First was with Hasni and Fatin. WOW. The movie was awesome. I get addicted to it so bad, seriously. After the show, we went to Kinokuniya to get them books. I didn't know it needs 4 books in total, to finish up the WHOLE story. So i just bought the first, to finish up what's showing on theatres now, and now, i'm reading the 2nd. Finishing it about a day. Then i'm gonna grab the other two, on my pay day. Freako, as Miru calls. haha. Well, that's me when i get addicted to something. *smiles*
So, i watched the second time with Miru, Sharon and Yat. Sharon and me got pretty excited. She was screaming slightly when she first saw Edward, which, every girls did, actually. haha. So, to sum it up, the movie was almost perfect. As, i've read the book and i thought the movie was cut short and much less in detail. So there.. I recommend this movie to anyone who loves thriller yet a romantic one. I wanna watch again! The DVD will be out next month and i can hardly wait!
-there she goes again..-

It never feels the same, and i'm glad i don't have to feel awkward whenever i see you.
I am soo.. getting used to this. All hail Singlehood! Lol? heh.

p/s: i wish upon a star. i wish i have someone like Edward Cullen. dangering my life would be an option. everybody will die one day. and i would love to die on the hands of the loved. *wink*

.sealing it shut.
-A vampire sweetheart, please?-

2008-12-21T01:57:00.002+08:00

There's just too many things to be said in here. But i can't seem to list it and write it down.
The shitty feelings i've been feeling, still remains. Just how am i going to make it go away? I've done quite a number of things to make things seemed normal. But i guess, i fail yet again.
And like a teenage girl, i'm gonna need a curfew. Not for myself, but just to watch out for the little girl. It's making me sick when somehow, i need to be a mother, a father, a brother, a sister and the grandparents of a teenage kid. A rebellious teenage kid, to be exact. Not that i've never rebelled. But this is beyond a parent's control. Beyond everyone's control.
Others keep bugging me with too many questions that i can't seem to find the answers. They just judge, they are not in my position. They don't know how i feel. And whenever someone complained, they urged to do something about it. Begging for a change. Which i myself, find it hard to accomplish.
I can even be harsh. Meaner. But i don't need my oldself back..just to get a problem solved. I can't wake the devil inside me again. I promised to be someone better. And i'm afraid i would break that promise just to settle this case. Such an easy problem yet a complicating solution. People tend to say things behind our backs. And how i hate backstabbing. I might as well kill that someone rather than talk behind their backs. Another sin i would create just to satisfy my own needs. I know i'll die slowly, anyway. So, tell me.
Where have i gone wrong? Does this love never mean a thing to you? If it doesn't, does Mum's love means something to you? I'm sorry for you. I'm praying hard for you to grow up fast. To be my closest friend. Not to see you growing up, being someone whom you're not. And worse.. becoming my enemy.

Grow up. Think maturely.

-too many things i can't comply.-

Swee Lee Sale Madness!

2008-12-13T20:10:00.003+08:00

I just woke up.
Had a very very maddening day. Planned with Miru to stay up at night, in the east. Told him to accompany me for Swee Lee Sale that was held just now, from 10am-6pm. The sale is worth the wait, i must say. 50% off! So Qader, Zeek, Miru & me reached 150 Sims Drive at around 7am. Joined the queue and waited. We were the first 100 customers, there was an additional of 10% off. POWER. It was really really worth it. I bought the Epiphone PR-4E Acoustic/Electric Guitar that was worth $299(u.p $470.80). As i had enough cash on hand, i asked the boys what they wanted. Something that i can afford to get for them(no wonder they are soo "manja" now. LOL). So to total up the things i bought today:
-2 guitar cables(20ft Planet Waves)
-1 bass cable(Ibanez)
-1 bass bag(Ibanez)
-1 pack of D'Addario Acoustic Guitar String
-1 Warwick Guitar Stand
-1 D'Addario Pre-Treated Polish Cloth
-1 6" Radiant Tambourine
-1 Jazz Rake Brush

and the guitar i've been waiting for..

Epiphone PR-4E Acoustic/Electric Guitar Package.

WOW. I spent almost $450 just for a day. And i must say i'm pretty satisfied with what i bought. THANK YOU DARLINGS, for accompanying me and all. Love you guys to bits.

So, there.. Sorry for abandoning my blog the past few weeks. Been busy and i had no time to update. Either that, i'd be pretty lazy to type it all out.
I must say.. I'm feeling kinda shitty these days. But i know i'll be fine one day. No more wanting to worry about boys. Just a pain in the ass. So, single life better. Remember our deal, dear Miru. *wink wink*. LOL.

'Till then..
Adios!

-Life is never fair. So, live it right!-

Long day.......~

2008-12-01T09:16:00.004+08:00

Friday 281108
~~Band Meeting @ Marina Square~~

Saturday 291108
~~Abg Rizal's Open House and Yat's Kenduri Doa Selamat~~

Sunday 301108
~~Patchwork Neurology's photoshoot.~~

WOW. What a hectic schedule, huh? Lucky me, i took off on Friday. A very very tiring weekend ever, yet very very fun one. Both Saturday and Sunday's event was a need to wake up in the morning. Reached home around 12am on Saturday, due to Qader and Miru, they were playing Guitar Heroes II and overlooked the time. So do i, actually. LOL. I had fun laughing at them and all. heh. So, the four of us, slept late that night. Woke up around 6am the next day. Getting ready for photoshoot. We went to Mount Faber, imgine the stairs that we had to climb. Yes, exercise time. I haven't been feeling that kinda muscle pain on both my legs ever since i joined ITE. Missed those times in NPCC though. hahs!
Anyways, the place was awesome. The photographer was very creative. And that's good. I hope the photos turns out beautiful. Let's wait till Friday for that. So, from Mount Faber, we went to Dhoby Ghaut. For the next photoshoot. It was somewhere around Dome, the museum area. That was, cool too. Everything ended around 4pm. I was beat to the max. In fact, we all were. Poor darlings. Well, sometimes we have to work hard for something we want to achieve. So, a lil sacrifice is good. And thank god, my boys and miss lil curly lady didn't complain much. hahs.
I'm still feeling very very tired. So, enough about my darlings.

I'm feeling rather down, lately. We passed by the place where we took the pictures of which, someone commented something about it. "I can forgive, but i will never ever forget what he said.", says my favourite guitarist. I was taken aback, somehow. 'Coz no matter how mad i was with that someone, his memories still lingers around me. And yes, i missed him. My favourite guitarist will somehow asked to forget about him. Find someone else better. Well, i'm trying my best. Yet again, i know we can never be together. I'm trying to be fair. For him and for the rest. I shall stick with being "single", for now. And i believe both sides would be happy with my decision.
And passing by that place, i dreamt of you. "I missed you", you said. How i wish it's true.
-sigh-

I have fallen to my knees
As I sing a lullaby of pain
I’m feeling broken in my melody
As I sing to help the tears go away
Then I remember the pledge you made to me

I know you’re always there
To my every prayer inside
I’m clinging to the promise of a lifetime
I hear the words you say
To never walk away from me and leave behind
The promise of a lifetime

Will you help me fall apart
Pick me up, take me in your arms
Find my way back from the storm
And you show me how to grow
Through the change
I still remember the pledge you made to me

I am holding on to the hope
I have inside with you
I will stay through every day
Putting my understanding aside
And I am comforted

-Promise Of A Lifetime..-

Asian Beats '08 Heats.

2008-11-24T20:29:00.002+08:00

Ok so, Patchwork Neurology didn't manage to get into Top10. However, i'm proud of them. They did their best. Even though it wasn't a 101%, they're still great. At least i hear some honest reviews on YouTube and from other bands i knew, saying that they're pretty tight and all. For those who missed the chance to catch them live, you can view the video i posted on YouTube. Just type the band's name and..WALLAH~ there's a list of previous gigs and all. So, enjoy! (:
Oh! Thanks to Hasni, Fatin, Zakiah and Nadia who've been giving their never-ending support for PWN. Thanks girls. Hope to see you soon.

So, the first to know about the result was me, of course. LOL. I've been eager to know the results. I've been checking almost every half an hour since 12am last night. I gave up waiting at 1230am and started again at 930am. FINALLY, the results were out 15mins before 12pm. My heart was indeed, thumping very fast. I was searching for familiar band names but sadly, i didn't see any. I knew this would happen as i dreamt of winning, last night. You know how things would go the opposite way when something you dreamt of, turns into reality. I was ready. The first to know after me was, Qader. Poor Panda took it so hard.. He was indeed, never prepared for a failure. So, i consoled. And left him to calm down. Then i text the rest about the results. Yat sounds fine. Ayie was in total shock and went immediate break-down after looking at the results on the website. He went out to make himself feel better. Zeek replied my text message with a ' :.( '
GOD! Can you imagine how i feel, realising that this is BIG to them afterall? I felt sick. I felt bad. But i had to tell them sooner or later. Miru was in shock too, but he was fine afterwards. I was afraid he might be having a downfall too. So i asked each of them if they were ok. Idah, no response. I hope she's all right.
'Cmon guys. You all did your best. Let this be a lesson to learn. We were pretty tight. Let's tighten it more. We all can do this, that's for sure. Let's make this a start, and prepare ourselves for the upcoming gigs and competitions. I love ya'll no matter what. I seriously can't bear to see each of you being the way you are now. Don't be demoralized by this. Work harder and we WILL reach the top. And, the surprise will still go on. A gift from me to all of you, for working this hard.
PWN's own gig in 2009! May the new year, shines on us.

-Nothing hurts more then to be friends with someone, knowing you are both in love with each other, and yet not being able to be together.-

Asian Beats '08!

2008-11-22T01:46:00.002+08:00

ALHAMDULILLAH.
Thank god, she finally understands.
Finally understands that i'm not going against her for my selfishness. It's a passion. My passion in music..and my love for PWN.
Thank you, Mama. I love you to bits.

I read through Mama's convo with Miru last night. FUNNY la sey..! Well, there are somehow rather touching moments where Mama truly understands me for who i am, and who i am not. I hope these 2 people know that i love them alot. Even though i knew Miru for just about a year, it seems like forever. Thank you, for understanding me, you guys.

So, people.. Come down to Tampines Mall later at 3pm. Catch Patchwork Neurology LIVE @ Asian Beats. Competition starts at around 12pm. So, hope to see you guys there!

Ya Allah, may the light shine on us today. Give us the will and confidence to overcome this short period of time. Just once..a moment of a lifetime. Amin~

-May we succeed..-

2008-11-20T22:17:00.002+08:00

As i blog this out, i build up my strength and stay as calm as possible.
Breathe in. Breathe out.

Dear Mum,

I know you've always been such an understanding person.
You've always been there to bring me up whenever i'm down.
I can never replace your love with something else in this world.
And being your precious angel, i tried my best to give the world to you.
I'm never perfect. But at least, i tried.
Truth is, i'm taken aback by what you said about the boys. About MY BOYs.
I know you have your reasons for doing the things you do, saying the things you said.
Somehow, i just can't accept it. It hurts..so bad that when i came to think of it again, tears run down my face.
You knew how much i loved them. You know too that they mean the world to me.
You may think i'm doing this for nothing. I won't even get paid doing the things i do for them.
Mum, you know music has been in my blood ever since i was a kid. I may not be IN the band, playing any instruments, being anybody. At least, i helped the people who appreciate music, who wants the world to listen to their original piece, and cherish it. They are so talented. I've never seen any other quite like them. So, i may not get any returns, i just want them to succeed. Remembering me as someone who've once, helped them becoming who they are, in the future. Please, understand me.

Restuilah anakmu~

-For once, i'm going against you. I had to and i'm sorry.-

Out with BFFS.

2008-11-15T11:31:00.003+08:00

So Yana asked me out yesterday. Asking me to accompany her for a job interview. But i was too tired and my aunt had asked me out already. So i had to turn down Yana's offer. heh. I waited for my aunt to come home. But till 3pm, she's not home yet. So when i read Yana's text message, asking me out again, i told her i would meet her and the rest since they are gonna stay around Tampines. Gosh! I had sooo much fun that i forgot that i am so weak by the time we're walking back to the MRT control station to meet Hadri. We played bowling & pool at Safra Tampines. Fadh was hillarious. He dropped the ball, his shots were mostly off-shot. Very funny. I wanna upload one thing i've just found out about Yana, but afraid she would get mad or something. She told me beforehand, "Ira jangan nak upload video kat blog eh. Yana tanak. Yana malu." LOL. Dia melatah siooll..! Gila babs nye melatah. haha! She's so cute. hahs!

So, by 2220 hours, we met Hadri. The BFF i missed most. I called him and told him to join us at Tampines since he was at lavender, from attending to some NS stuffs. Poor him. I know he's tired. But i missed him. So, i kind of forced him to come down. LOL. We went to Teh Tarik, had our supper. Hadri's on the house. Yesterday, i didn't spend a thing except for my lunch meal. They all treat me for most of my expenses. THANKS SO MUCH GUYS! I LOVE YA'LL!

Here are some of the pictures we took.

p/s: Yana, my butter cookies is still untouched. I'm still full. LOL.

-All i hope is...-

Jamming 131108 @ FourTones

2008-11-14T00:09:00.003+08:00

Met Miru & Yat at City Hall control station around 615pm.
Waited for Hafiz CTH at Peninsula exit. He reached around 630pm.
He wanted their videos. So i passed him my thumbdrive and together, we walked to Clarke Quay. Miru, Yat & me went for FourTones Studio while Hafiz went to his workplace. We parted near the bridge. Shockingly, he did something he've never done for soo long. He said, "Ok lah. We gotta split from here. I gotta cross over. I'll pass you back your stuff soon. See you around ok? And take care". With that, he hugged me tightly and kissed my forehead..for quite a moment. -total blank-
Yes, i was shocked. So shocked, that i didn't realise there were eyes staring at us.
God. How i missed him. If Ersyad were to get through my blog, i can't imagine how he would criticise me about it. Yes, Ersyad. Love can't be forced. I'm sorry for hurting you, and no, he hasn't always been there, physically. But he has ALWAYS been in my heart. Maybe i didn't realise it or somehow i'm just too stubborn to accept the fact that i loved someone who's not always there. So, i hated him, once. Has, you've been my pillar. You know how i've always complained about his egos and arrogance. Well, i guess, that's just a reason for me to forget him. Or.. maybe not. But then again, i'm not sure myself. I don't wanna fall for the wrong guy, yet again. -sigh-

So, after jamming. We head to LJS for dinner. I was super hungry. After the "above" incident(i don't know if it is one or not), i felt i've been given the strength. The power to love again. ceh. macam paham~ lol. But really, somehow i felt that way. And Miru, why do you keep disturbing me like that? You know i'm quite a sensitive person. Sikit-sikit boleh lah.. Ni melebih pulak. I'm hurt, somehow. Every single thing you do, whether you realise it or not, it's hurting me bit by bit. Yat, too. He's learning to be YOU. And yeah, i'll know you'd reply me, 'well..too bad then.' But put yourself in my position. I don't want us to fight over small things. So, take care of my feelings, and i'll take care of yours. I WILL take my leave if i believe i'm meaningless already. -_-

-WOW. Can i not wash my head and face from now on?-

Reconciled.

2008-11-09T13:43:00.003+08:00

Just woke up.
Got home around 4am this morning.
After jamming practice, we went for lunch at Raffles Hospital's Banquet.
After which, Miru, Yat, Qader and me went to Hello! shop as Miru wanted to settle some bills. The queue was pretty long and time is running out. Yat has to attend his Nasyid practice. So, we went to Bras Basah Complex, Yat grabbed some Djembe stuff then he head for his practice. Qader thought it was still early to go home so, we went to Esplanade and lepak there. I took some pictures but dare not upload it in here. There are some reasons to it. So, yeah.

And babe, guess what? The song that remind me of Al Hafiz, was brought by another Hafeez. haha.
I was wanting him to put me to sleep, but in the end asking him to play that song, and i sang. LOL. i forgot the verse. -_-
So, yeah. He played differently, of course. It's not an acoustic guitar. So, it somehow sounds different. heh. Still.... he's my bestest guitarist. EVER.

Eh Miru. I am so so glad that we're getting better now. It seemed like it's way better than before. Thank you. And, i'm having a hard time to think before saying anything. Afraid i might hurt you yet another time. Help me with that, ok?

am i that "VERY VERY VERY EMOTIONAL" person? *thinks hard*

-Happy 25th Birthday, Sweetheart.-

071108

2008-11-07T21:11:00.003+08:00

So i met Al Hafiz on 061107 (Thurs) after work, just for 15 minutes only. Fast game. He passed me the tie, talked for awhile. Then hugged, and leave. Some of you may wonder, "it's just a tie. BIG DEAL." haha. Well, usually the things that are precious to him, and yet i want it, he WILL give(without feeling any reluctancy so far). 'Cause firstly, he knows i'll take good care of it, better than he would. LOL. Secondly, he love to have something for me, to remind me of him. And now, i have two things at hand. 1 pink bracelet, and his purple/grey tie. I kept the bracelet in a precious box of mine. It's pink. I don't wear much of a pink. Hahs. As for the tie, i'm keeping it with me, where ever i go, in a file. Nice and sweet. Right, hasni? Haha. Anyways, Hafiz, thank you sweetheart. Even though i know you'll never gonna get through this blog, i'm still gonna say THANKS ALOT anyway. ((:

Today.. A last minute plan on GF outing with dearest Hasni. I think i had ALOT OF FUN just now. -mufus!- haha! Thanks for the treat at Swensens, babe. THANKS ALOT. We watched The Coffin at E-Hub. The movie was soo cool. And for those who have yet to watch this movie, please please have an open mind, as wide as possible. 'Cause it's a very complicated movie. Those who are somehow slow-minded, it'll be pointless and they would go saying.. "Boring sia.." or "I don't understand a single bit. The movie sucks!". So, it's either you go for it, or don't waste your money and watch it online!
As for me and Has, we enjoyed the movie. And i'm not regretting it at all. So, yeah. Another best movie i've watched with gf. Thanks again, babe. ((:

Patchwork Neurology @ Asian Beats 08!
Date: 221108
Time: 3pm
Venue: Tampines Mall

So, check 'em out! Don't miss the chance. (:

-Sing me that song again and i'll have a full 2 years flashback with you.-

Happy Birthday, Nursyahirah!

2008-11-03T22:06:00.003+08:00

Happy Birthday to me..
Happy Birthday to me...
Happy Birthday to SYAHIRAH......~
Happy Birthday to me........!!!

Birthday girl's depressed. So, she sang herself a birthday song. Don't mind her just for that moment. heh.

Celebrated my birthday twice. One for close friends, one for family. Both times were great. But i just wish i celebrated once with someone special. Someone significant in life, someone preciously loved. How i wish he realize how much he mean to me. *sigh*

Anyways, here's one of the pictures i took, celebrating my birthday last night.

HAH! Cool or what? hee.. Junaidi was like, "wah. dah 21 lah dia~". heh. Both idols said their birthday wishes to me. Awesome! I wished Junaidi shaked my hands and say "Happy Birthday, babe." instead, Khairul did. LOL.
So, yeah. 21st birthday wasn't much of a celebration. Just a key to freedom. Yeap. That's it.

And with all the depression, i pampered myself with Samsung Omnia i900. Cancelled my plan on getting an LG KS 20 as Miru said it's laggy. padan muka~ LOL. So, yeah. Got Mama her new line, like FINALLY she has a "working" handphone. hahs.

p.s: BABE! i'm getting a tie from your brother. i don't know why i'm so excited about getting a used tie, but heck.. it's his. and i'm keeping it as a momento. :DD

and he said he love me too~

-Keeping mum now.-

Happy Birthday, Adi.

2008-11-02T16:13:00.002+08:00

Firstly, i would like to wish one of my sweetest friend (a darling one), Zuraidi, A Very Happy 24th Birthday. May god bless you with wealth and the health you need. Love ya. (:

I just got home from Faizah's wedding reception. Congrats, babe.
May you're blessed with lots and lots of children. :D

Ok. I'm so tired and sleepy. Reached home at 3am this morning, had supper with Carve This Heart, Patchwork Neurology & Mama. Awesome huh? Too bad someone didn't wanna join. She missed a whole lotta fun. *bluek*
Oh by the way, your brother asked about you. Why not you text him and explain to him ya? (:
Like finally i met Fir(CTH). The cutest of them all. LOL. Hafiz would be rolling his eyes, reading this. Well, it's true. In Carve This Heart, there's the cutest and the handsomest. What more can i say? But i love the handsomest more la, of course. haha. I wish i could upload some photos, but my dear cameraman was sick and the camera was in no mood too. So, shit happens sometimes. LOL.
Anyways, before we went for supper at Lau Pa Sat, half of PWN(except Idah & Zeek) watched the other half performed in a gig @ Music Garage. Miru & Yat was helping Zakiah. So, yeah.. And Qader was such an irritainment, no wait. Not only him. All PWN members were. I was recording videos of CTH when Qader first pushed me slightly. Making the video looked shaky. Then came the missed calls from Miru and Yat. -_-
Thanks guys, you helped alot. sheesh~
God, i had sooo much fun yesterday! I was laughing my heart out and all. And oh, ALHAMDULILLAH. Thanks Miru. For bringing me, our old selves. How i really, really missed those times. Sorry for whatever i've done that could have hurt you so bad. Do explain though 'cause honestly, i am so lost. I love you, man. And i don't wanna lose you. You know that damn well.

Seeing you once again, refreshes the memory of us.
The times we had so much fun, so much love.
Yes, we were in love.
But there are things that we just can't make it up for.
I realise now how much i've missed you.. and those times we had.
I believe my feelings for you have never, ever changed. Not a single bit.
No matter how much i believed i've moved on, you will still remain right there.
Sealed in my heart.
So, i'm now clueless on what i should do.
Hopefully you find out about my blog and read it yourself.

-Dear Superhero, i know being a bouncer is never an easy job. So please, take good care of yourself.-

2008-10-31T22:48:00.003+08:00

I got this from a friend's profile and thought how selfish life can be. And true-ness, life can be just perfectly unfair.
So, i'm sharing it with you guys.

We cannot all do great things.
But we can do small things with great love.
So love the people who treat you right,
forget about the ones who don't,
and believe that everything happens for a reason.
If you get a chance, take it.
If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said that it'd be easy,
they just promised it would be worth it.
Eventually feels a lot better than actually.
Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass.
And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim.
The world of pretend is a cage , not a cocoon.
We can only lie to ourselves for so long.
We are tired, we are scared, denying it doesn't change the truth.
Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world.
Head on, guns blazing. De Nile.
It's not just a river in Egypt, it's a freakin' ocean.
So how do you keep from drowning in it?

Therefore, live life to the fullest. Fuck what others might think or say 'cause it's your life after all.

p/s: Asri, thank you for everything you've done. Pissed me of again & again. I tried pleasing you, but you always turn me down. So, there's a song that goes like this, 'i am sorry. ku tak akan love you lagi.'
that's for you, bebeh. sayonara..~

-I lie. But never a pretender.-

A7X concert & Advanced Birthday Party

2008-10-26T13:23:00.004+08:00

Let's start with the day i had my first ever crazy concert.

241008
As many rock 'n' roll fans in Singapore knows, A7X was here on this very day. Live at Max Pavilion. The queue was fantastic. I think there were a thousand or so of A7X fans waiting to get in. I met quite a number of people whom i didn't expect to see at this kind of concert. Despite the long wait, the security sucks, by the way,(i kept cursing them) we were all tired and sleepy by the time a local band started the show. It was somehow, boring. The fusion was good, but i just wanted A7X badly. In fact, all the fans are. hahs. They promised to start at 8. But A7X showed up at 9pm. Nevertheless, i was rejuvenated. My energy rose when the lights came off. My heart was pumping very fast, and hard. When i heard the music, i saw Zacky. Then i looked for Shadows. Then i wanted to see Gates so much but he was much afar. I was at the wrong side. -_-
Should have remembered their stage formation. Shit. So anyways, i got hyped up. And there was alot of pushing others around. Like i said, it's my first ever gig. I wasn't aware of such things. But i couldn't care less. I was damn happy. I jumped. I screamed. I sang out loud. I did what i've never done before. The craziness in me was like totalling up and burst open right there. I believe i had so much fun that i had a headache after everything ended. Like some sort of an after-hangover feeling. (macam paham) LOL.
So, yeah. The bestest experience EVER. I'm praying hard they'll keep their promises.
"We'll come back soon!"

251008
An advance birthday party held at home. For all my close friends. I admit i was tired, and my enthusiasm wasn't there. haha. But anyways, i hope all my friends, had fun. It was a simple party but i believe it was pretty much an enjoying one.
Thanks to Hasni who've helped me alot.
Personal thanks to:
Shahila
Kathy
Azima & friend
Al Hafiz (CTH)
My BFFs (Arfas, Yana, Fadhli, Hadri)
Hakim & Eka
Khai
Patchwork Neurology (Miru, Idah, Qader, Zeek, Yat)

Yeah. There were less than 20. I wouldn't dare to make it a big party as it's not my home. Furthermore, it's a small place. So, i hope people who've not been invited would understand. Sorry. (:
Cutting cake ceremony was one kekek part. Hafiz was malu-malu. Feel like smacking his face. The cake was soo delicious that Hafiz, Fas & Had went asking for more. LOL. I couldn't save some for PWN, sadly. Because i thought with the small amount of friends who came, the cake would still be able to put some aside. haha. It was Swensens ice cream cake. What do you expect. LOL. I didn't expect any presents to come along as i just wanted to gather all my friends and have some fun. And.......
The sweetest thing Hadri had ever done. He gave me some $ which i didn't expect to come out from him, especially. I refused to take, but he insist. So, i said thanks alot and tears almost roll down my cheeks when he opened his arms for me. Yes, we hugged. Hadri, who's not so close, was the one who could actually touched my heart, deeply. And.. yeah. I love my BFFs. =D

GFs.

PWN

BFFs: Had, Fadh, Ira, Fas

i missed him. [Al Hafiz & Nursyahirah]

the november babies.

-I saw eyes staring at us while we hugged. But i ignored. Friendship worth much more than the jealousy eyes of someone else's.-

to leave or not..

2008-10-21T00:10:00.008+08:00

Birthday's coming VERY soon. And.......
here's my wishlist. :DD

-Nike Hoodies
-Skate Shoes
-iPod Touch
~~-Samsung OMNIA i900~~
-~~Crumpler Sling Bag~~
-~~Adidas Adilette~~

So, take note ok? LOL-ness.

Anyways, things have been very tight and stressful for me lately. Many, many things in mind. To Dear Unknown tagger, not to worry. I'm aware of Khai's status and, we're just friends. Thanks so much for the info. :)
So, things have never been the same between me and beloved friend. But i'm glad to see Yat and him are on talking terms now. Even though i wonder why he's still not talking to me, but, i know things will be fine sooner or later. I'll just let him cool down. As Baby Zeeko said, "We are like family seh. And to see you sitting one corner and him at the other, macam tak best gitu kan. So, just give in la. Talk as per normal."
I wish i could. I seriously WISH i could. I have egos too. And yes, i think i gave in too many times w/o realising it. Still, i love you. And no, i don't wanna lose the band because of this. Trying so so hard to ignore, but i've been a crybaby ever since this happened. Whenever the topic's about you, that is. I'm trying to stay strong, as hard and long as i could. I hope my sanity's still up and good. heh.
I still love you, Miru. And if you're reading this, just stop all these. I can hardly take it anymore. I'm so so lost without you. You're the pillar in my life. So precious and please, don't make me regret with the decision i'm gonna make. don't think wrong, Miru's just too close to me. like a family.

So, i'm glad Baby and Ida had a great time just now. With all the surprises, they look so cute when blowing the candles and cutting the cake.. haha. I'll upload the pictures soon.
And.. i forgot to bring their presents along. -_-

Ok. I think i'm done for tonight. I can't sleep, but i think i'm gonna just lay down and think of what to do...with my life.

-What about now..-

depression period.

2008-10-14T21:47:00.004+08:00

141008

4 more days to Baby Zeeko's birthday.
8 more days to Curlie Ida's birthday.
And i've yet to search for their gifts. I thought of getting Zeek one of Miz29's Dickies berms. But afraid he might not like it. As for Ida, i thought of getting her some accessories, but i hardly see her wearing any. So, i'm confused.

Anyways, took half day today. I seriously need to rest my mind. Need to get away from work and stress for awhile. I've been thinking ALOT lately. Things haven't been getting any better between me and dearest friend. I hope we'll be fine by 3rd November 2008. praying hard~
So, i asked mama out. Queenstown that is. I spent more then $100 just for my Nike slippers and Crumpler sling bag. Well of course, look at the brands. You can burn few hundred dollars on those branded stuffs. haha!

Latest news.
Khai text me saying Fadh was mad and jealous about him contacting me. Why? We haven't got a clue. He might be joking, might not too. Before Khai told me this, i text Fadh asking what if Khai wants to befriend me and stuffs. He answered my question with questions. Asking, "Why?? What did he say? He got text you issit?" -_-
I don't know what he meant by that. Khai clearly said, the reason why he didn't tell Fadh about him contacting me, afraid Fadh would think differently. So, it's either Fadh is taking REAL good care of me from Buaya Darats OR... allahualam~
When i told Khai maybe Fadh's afraid of getting his dearest BFF into another heart break or whatsoever, might as well he tell Khai off before anything happens. Which i believe, Fadh should know Khai better by now.
Then Khai replied, saying it's up to me whether i still want to befriend him.
My reply was clear and easy to understand, "I accept you as my friend from the start. I'm not the kinda girl who likes take back her words easily. I will be a close friend if you want me to. Like you, i believe in fate too." (:
Well, what Khai and I know is, Khai & Ira are just friends. And we both, believe in fate. So, if we are meant to be, then we will. I'm not saying that i'm hoping for that.. But i leave it to fate.
So, we are strictly FRIENDS, for now. -_-
what am i saying..~

With all that in mind, i'm sick.
I've eating disorders. Sleeping disorders. Sudden headaches. Diarrhoea.
uhh.. God knows what will happen next.
I haven't been having proper meal. Not that i don't want to. But i just can't bring myself to eat as much as i used to. I seriously think that i've put myself into a tension that can now be undone. It's getting real serious. I've never been through this before. And now that i am, there's no chance of turning back. Slowly going through the rocky stage of life. Hopefully, all's fine soon. 'Cause i don't wanna ignore.

Should i go and rest now?
yes, i think i should~

-My Depression Period.-

Raya Outing with Motorola Friends

2008-10-12T11:56:00.004+08:00

WOW.
Today i'm feeling sick. I haven't ate anything since last night.
Not that i don't want to, but i just felt sick. Nausea.

So anyways, Yana(Arfas's gf) text me on Friday asking me out for raya outing with Arfas and friends. So, since i had no plans, i joined. Mind you, i slept at 4am that day. Went to JB. heh.
Woke up around 9am, then get myself ready. I seriously didn't have the mood to go for raya outing yesterday. But i don't know why, my heart says just go. So, i took a cab to Woodlands. Gathered at Yana's house. When the rest reached, i saw some unfamiliar faces, but that's usual in raya outings right? hahs.
So there's the driver wearing black too. Khai's the name. Couple for a day, we were. And the friends just can't stop disturbing us. I ignored with a smile, Khai went "she's not my gf!". lols.
But after a few trips, with karaoke-ing here and there, the driver kept teasing me. I thought he was joking, so i just go with the flow. At the end of the day, he asked for my number. -_- hahs.
I noticed he keeps looking at me, and wanting me to smile at him. I got "Batu Lesong" as he said. Which meant, the dimple, on my left cheek.

Fadh and Khai just can't stop fighting. They both wore black. And quarrelled about seats, songs, and the girl who wore black too. hahs. Fadh wanted to sit beside Khai so much, so Yana asked Khai, "you want Fadh or Ira to sit beside you?", he went, "IRA!". Then Fadh went to the front, opened the door and said, "Oh... Mentang-mentang ada Ira, ko nak kerek ngan aku eh..", Khai replied, "alah......masok la masok la. Sebok uh ko". So Fadh went in happily. hahs. Inside the car, came one of my favourite songs on the radio, I'm Yours by Jason Mraz. Hearing that, Fadh went, "Ira. This is for you, bebeh.", Khai quickly changed the channel. When asked by Fadh, he said, "Aku CEMBURU ko tau tak? Dengar lagu ni lagi bagos. Ni lagu favourite dia.." It's a malay rock song, i never knew about. lols. Then Hakim went, "Orang tu dah mabok, dengar lagu ni, lagi mabok dia". These guys are just crazy. And i'm starting to love them. hahs.
Kecoh in the car. The mat rempits were racing through the highway.

The couple for a day. (Ira & Khai)

And guess what? They stayed at my place for 2 hours. Left around 1am. Karaoke session they had.
Kecohrable. I admit, my thoughts about HIM, was deleted in my memory for a while. Still, there's a lot to talk about, things to be settled. So, i'm waiting for him to be "ready".

I can't wait for PWN's raya outing and the rest of my gf's too! hee~

-The very first sight of you, makes my heart beats faster than usual.-

To whoever-its-meant-for..

2008-10-07T23:07:00.002+08:00

Forgive me,
I make mistakes. Don't you?
Forgive me,
For saying things that's not meant to be said.
And yes,
People tend to say things that hurt, without thinking. Don't you too?

Speechless i was.
The very first huge fight, we had.
I seek for help every where i could just to make things right.
Yes, dear friend.
I care. I still do.
You're the closest. The one i can't afford to lose.
You should know it by now.

Those things i said, are meaningless. You joke around too.
I love you, like i love the rest.
I can never hate you for doing the stupidest thing.
'Coz that's the only thing that puts a smile on my face.

People say, i gave too much face.
They too, said you're too much.
I simply don't care 'coz you ARE part of my life.
And they know, i need you.

Yes, i'm confused.
You've said things that have long, hurt me. silence, i've been.
Called me a pretender, when i don't even know what i'm pretending.
No, i don't wanna hate you.
Keep in mind that,
You mean the whole world to me.

Please, don't do this.
It's cutting me deep.
I can hardly breathe.
Kill me, if that will satisfy your anger.
I rather die in your hands than suffocate by your assumptions.

-I don't wanna hate you, don't make me. I beg you.-

Selamat Hari Raya!

2008-10-01T00:07:00.002+08:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYA, people!!!

To all my friends,
Wishing you Selamat Hari Raya Minal Aidil Walfaizin.
I may have used the wrong words at the wrong time. Hurting people in every way's possible. All i can say, this is the month to clear my sins and seek for forgiveness. Hahs! So, salah dan silap, harap dimaafkan. Love ya'll.

Babe, i know how and what you feel now. I feel you, BADLY. Sorry i can't do much as one of your best friends. But just to remind you, i'm always here and will always try my best to be. Stay strong for the rest of your family.

*wonders what to get for Mama on her birthday.*

-Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir & Batin.-

PWN's crazy jamming session.

2008-09-27T20:56:00.003+08:00

Friday 260908

After work, went to grab some stuffs at Tampines Mall NTUC, for the making of my Choc Cornflakes. Then i went to check out Starhub shop and made an enquiry about LG KS20 Miru asked for. The promotion ended this day itself. So, Miru told me to meet him and Yat at PS after break fasting. Quickly rushed home, get ready for break fast, had a quick shower, then to meet Yat. My sandals came off suddenly. Then i was like, 'uh! wth! shit!'. Was rushing and yet having this kinda shameful situation. hahs. So i just went on. Don't care what others will say. Like hello, as if you've never faced that kinda situation before. -_-

So, Miru and Yat grabbed the LG KS20 promotion and left me biting my own nails. I wanted that phone too! Urgh. But anyways, hopefully there's another promotion on November. Lols.
Then we rushed to FourTones Music Studio. The rest were waiting. Ayie kept calling me and asked, 'Can you take a look at your watch? What time isit now?'. haha. Cute la my hero.
After our jamming session, i planned to rush back home. But Miru stopped me from doing so. He wanted to take the first train home(prolly coz the girl of his dreams is around, that's why. heh.)
So, i called mama and let Miru talk to her. Well, she was somehow in a good mood, and so does my aunt. So, yeah.. Stayed with them till Sahur. heh. However, i was grounded the next day. -_-
I was hungry, and so was Qader. So we planned on Macdonald's at Bras Basah Complex after that. After supper, Yat and Zak(Miru's dream girl), wanted to leave. Zak was asking me if i wanted to share a cab with them, but Miru quickly interrupted saying, 'No. No. I told your mum already. So, you have to stay.' -_-
He always stands my way. Hate him.
So, yeah. We hang around at Istana Park. Around 4am we head for a food stall to get something for Sahur. Reached that place at 5am. Food arrived at 5.15am. I shared my Nasi Goreng Ayam with Qader as i know i'm not able to finish it up by 5.26am. Hahs. Then i took a cab home as i was really enervated. Reached home at 6am. Then went to sleep. hahs.

Saturday 270809

Woke up at 11am. Followed Mama to her workplace. Had my hair-cut. Not much difference done. Trim a bit. Cut my fringe. More layering. That's it. (recommended by Miru.)
I was totally worn out when i reach home after that. So, i took a nap till break fast time. Now, waiting for visitors to go off, then i'll start making my Choc Cornflakes.

I'll end my post for now.
I'm waiting for my boys to get online. *biting nails*

-What else can i do..? I'm happy for him.-

fatigue.

2008-09-21T12:33:00.003+08:00

I seriously need a perfect beauty sleep.
My weekends are like full of appointments.
And no, i didn't get to meet up with my beautiful girlfriend, Boy A and Achit this week. Next week, hopefully? heh.

Went out with Yat & girlfriend and Miru yesterday. I didn't have the mood to go out 'coz my aunt was giving me the face which explains that i've always been out. But my weekdays was always at home after work. I just don't understand the elders sometimes. But whatever lah, they should know me by now. I do what i want. Not happy with it? Come and spit it out.
So, anyways.. We went to Bugis first, looking for Yat's perfect and unique raya clothes. hahs. Met Qader and our new vocalist, Ida, who was with a friend, for break fast at Banquet. After that went to geylang which Qader and Ida hated so much. So, didn't tag along with us.
Here's the exquisitely good news, i met Boy A at Joo Chiat. Imagine how shock i was. And i didn't remember him being so tall, and Miru so short. lols.
So when i saw him, i quickly turned to look for Miru. So i went, 'Miru. Miru.. Miru! Cepat..!'. That e-d-yet was looking at something else. So he looked blur. hahs. Then he was like, 'What?'. And then, i grabbed his arm.

Me: "Boy A, Miru. Boy A kat belakang kita!"
Miru: "Huh? Really?" *he turned and looked behind*
Me: "JANGAN la pusing dulu..."
Miru: "Then why are you holding my arms?" *snatched away his arm from me and continued*
"wait he thinks i'm your boyfriend. why never tegor him?"
Me: "tanak la.. segan seh."
Miru: "no no. i go and call him, i tell you."
Me: "OI! don't la.. i'm not ready."
Miru: "then you go and text him. NOW."
Me: "nanti2 lah. menggigil now you know."
Miru: "menggigil for what?"
Me: "mane ira tahu..!"

..then the argument went on until i met my dearest girlfriend, Hasni with mum at Joo Chiat also. heh.
And no, Boy A ain't a handsome-looking guy. But who cares? I don't need a handsome bf that will end up girls chasing after him and all. Such a nuisance! heh. Miru knows me already la. But still, i don't understand why he wants to talk bad about Boy A. One e-d-yet guy. Oh oh, he said this too yesterday, 'Why him sia? That Fantastic Four guy is much more handsome than him. The one on your featured friend's list." Amin. haha. Too bad he's more like a brother to me. heh.

Later on, i text Boy A. And he was upset i didn't actually say Hi to him. hahs. Until i went home, we met in MSN, he was telling me he's really upset about it. Well, what to do. Long time no see, i got kaku. hahs. And yeah, i missed him. :)

- "He's got the height. He's got the body. But he doesn't have the looks. And, he doesn't have the skin." (Miru) -

140908

2008-09-15T13:51:00.003+08:00

HELLOH! heh.

Sorry for not blogging the previous week. It sure is dusty, but ain't that much. hahs.
So anyways, the previous week has been pretty much a boring one for me. Hopefully, this week's better. hee.
I'm gonna meet GFs later. Breaking fast at beach road. I still have no idea what to eat. Sup tulang k has? or maybe with nasi ayam penyet. lols.
I miss my girls.

So, i've planned some stuffs for the week. Gonna be quite a busy girl. hahs.
Let me list out the plans.

140908
Outing with GFs at Beach Road.

160908
Outing with PWN at town area. Gonna shop till we drop. *smiling widely*

190908
Outing with my beautiful girlfriend at not sure where yet. Still planning. heh.

200908
Outing with Boy A. Remember him? hahs. Yeah. Hopefully it's confirmed. :)

210908
Outing with Achit at not sure yet too. I'll be waiting for his call about this meet-up.

So.. Whaddya think? hahs.
Date here. Date there. Luckily it doesn't fall on the same day. haha!
Yeap, busy Ira Syahirah she'll be. =D

AND. AND. AND
i just got to know Avenged Sevenfold's coming to town this October!
i wanna go. i wanna go. i wanna go!!!

Ok. That's about it for today.

tata.titi.tutu

-A decision made. Goodbye, love.-

060908

2008-09-07T10:35:00.002+08:00

*my arms are in pain*

GOD!
I can't imagine the boys could actually hit me in front of mama. And mama could actually let them be! *sob sob*
My arms are DEFINITELY in pain. Thanks to my panda boy. It hurts alot, but there weren't any blue black. Qader said, 'of course. that wasn't my full strength!'. e-d-yet.
Yat's now starting to hit-and-run me now. The boys are reeaallyy rough.
Anyways, i had fun yesterday. Hoping the rest would. Thanks guys for breaking fast with mama & me. Not to forget Has & Kat too. Thanks alot.
So, as you may know, thursday's outing with PWN was postponed to yesterday due to some last minute changes. bulan puasa ni, baannyyaakk betol dugaan. nasib baik aku belom boleh puasa.
We went without my babyboy though. Poor him. Busy day yesterday. Miss him. heh.
I so can't wait to get the EP done! Check out our demo in myspace, www.myspace.com/patchworkneurology08. Leave us some comments too. :))

To Kat,
Go and get a life lah..~
Who needs a man when you can have countless of them? We're still young to hold on to just one, especially with the kinda guy you're with now. Sorry. I've marked an X on his forehead, virtually. So, next chalet, don't bring him again ok? lols.

I've no more say for now.
So, take care people!

-Failure.-

2nd day..

2008-09-02T10:11:00.005+08:00

Today's the 2nd day of fasting month.
I am soo weak and sick.
I hate it when i get sick. Things will turn upside down.

So anyways, Alhamdulillah, mama was discharge yesterday noon.
For those who came and visit, THANKS ALOT. For those who didn't get the chance to visit mama, thanks for the concern and all, we can all buka together one day. (mama's booked on thursday. with PWN) ((:
And oh, speaking of which, RAIHAN HUSIN, i know somehow you're reading this. Let's buka together!! hee..

So.. here i am blogging this while at work. Nothing to do for now. No one's in the office except me. They are all late. Including the manager. sheesh~
I'm soo gonna take a half day leave today. Can't take it with me freezing in here, and it's suffocating. I can hardly breathe, i tell you. Damn~

Ok. That's for now. I'm outta here.

To Miru,
Apek uh.. Lu bagi wa tu obat daun selasih keling. Wa sulah tak tahan woo..!

Selamat Menyambut Bulan Ramadhan, people!

-Suffocating by your foolish lies-

2008-08-31T01:17:00.003+08:00

Exhausted.
I am so tired.
After work yesterday, went jamming with the boys. And no, we haven't found the right vocalist yet. Then mama called to say she'll be in SGH A&E for some check-up and told me to be there after i'm done. So went to look for a cab around Bugis area and it's so friggin' irritating and tiring. No cabs stopped when i needed one. Waited for almost an hour, went around Victoria St to get one. Reached SGH around 11am. Couldn't find mama, so i asked the nurse at the administration counter. She was in the emergency room. So i was brought in to see mama for awhile. Was in a horrible situation. I can't describe how i felt when mama told me some bad news and i couldn't hide my tears no matter how hard i tried. Mama consoled, but was making it even worse. So i quickly went outside, called Raihan's best friend and sadly, he was at work, he wished he could come and accompanied me. That was fine, i understood his position. So, i called Miru just to inform him about mama's condition but after hearing me cried on the phone, he told me to wait there and PWN's on the rescue. hahs. I'm soo soo glad i have these boys by my side. I never knew they love me this much. So, since they reached, mama was sent to her ward, and we went to look for it and her room number. Ayie asked smilingly, 'Ira, ok eh? Takde pape lah.. Insyallah takde pape..', and i just smiled. In my heart, only ALLAH knew how sickly worried i felt. But no matter what, the boys were there to comfort me. And i thank ALLAH, for bringing these guys into my life. Such wonderful gift.
So, till now, i've yet to know the result of the scan mama need's to go which is yet to be done. I'm so mad about the procedure of hospitals sometimes. It pisses me off. I'm just worried if anything happens to mama. She needs to be regularly checked, and just finish it off with surgery or whatsoever. I just hope, everything goes well soon.

Just yet another bad news, and this time's from you. I still can't believe you left. But no matter, i will respect your decision. Guys just come and go, and I just keep falling for the wrong guy.

-Thank you for the memories.-

Aunt & Uncle's Wedding Anniversary

2008-08-25T14:08:00.003+08:00

Fuh! Finally it's over and done.
Thanks a MILLION for those who came to my Aunt & Uncle's Wedding Anniversary. Especially my dearest boys, they practiced till Sunday 6am. We were having sleepless nights again. Every show's like that. heh.
Thanks alot guys.

So anyways, today's entry will be about searching for PWN's frontman.
Yes, we're still looking for a vocalist.
And so, we're having an audition this Friday(290808). So, if anyone's reading this, and you can sing or if you do know anyone who can sing and is interested in joining a band, do drop us an email at patchworkneurology@hotmail.com.
Songlist, venue & timing will be sent via email.
Thank you.

-my guts strongly says it's the smile. so, stop smiling at me like that.-

bored.tired.sleepy.

2008-08-17T11:43:00.003+08:00

Having AIMS in life is the best way to start a new life.
Mine is to achieve a diploma certificate, just to make mama proud and at the same time upgrade myself in whichever way i can. My life is about my boys. BGR can absolutely wait. So, what's yours?

Guess what? The boys are indeed getting comfortable with each other, with me to be exact. heh.
Yat & Qader's true colours are showing up, slowly. When i thought they were the quiet, shy ones. Well, let's just say my boys are ALL CRAZY in their own ways. They're starting to bully me. yeap. heh. It all started with Miru, as always. Thanks, sweetheart(i've names for my boys, btw. check out my friendster). You're the best and i hate you, damn much. (:
But hey, you know i can't stop laughing whenever you're around. And THAT is good. hahs.

So, i feel as if i'm missing something. Just can't figure out what. The Badak Boy? Or is it someone, or something else? Or maybe... that YP have been giving me more than enough stress and could possibly make me feel this way.
I'm clueless.

I'll just hug my darling cat whenever i feel this way. I guess he's the only one that understands me most.

-If it's something else, then why do i still feel different...?-

PWN, i love you.

2008-08-10T23:52:00.002+08:00

Just woke up.
Had supper. I was super hungry. haha.
Lucky me, today there's a lot of food. Last minute kenduri.
So yesterday, reached home around 530am. Slept around 6am.
Woke up at 830am. Couldn't sleep after that. Too nervous, i guess.
Try memorizing the lyrics and all. But the latin song was just too difficult. lols.
But i didn't give up. I won't give up on my boys easily. So i just tried my best.
Went for our last jamming practice, at 1230pm till 230pm. Then quickly rushed to the Arts House.
Once we reached, i was having a nervous breakdown. My stomach was aching, i felt like having diarrhoea. haha. I've never performed in a gig before ok.
So, i prayed hard. Waited too long for our turn till i get very sleepy. haha.
Did whatever i could to make my boys proud. But i guess i was crappy. As Ayie said, his friend and himself couldn't hear my voice. Miru said the microphone wasn't loud enough. And Qader said his friends said we were all good. But still, i wasn't that satisfied i guess. haha. But that's ok. I'm proud i could actually perform with my boys. PWN, YOU ROCK lah!

So after all the hard work, i guess it paid off. We were all happy. The gig was fun.
Then we all went to my place, had dinner, karaoke for a while, afterwhich they were sent home by my godbro. It was really a memorable day for me. One of my happiest days in life. Well, i guess, the reason could be because they are my boys, and they are my life. =)

It's time to wait for 24th of August. Next performance by Patchwork Neurology. haha.

-Why do i feel so....different?-

happy birthday my darling.

2008-08-08T13:22:00.002+08:00

I'm here just to wish the Badak Boy..

Happy 22nd Birthday!

May all your wishes come true.

Why do i care so much about your birthday? *wonders*

-a darling.. but can never be his.-

rough weekends

2008-08-05T00:12:00.003+08:00

Let me share wit ya'll what i did for the early August.

Friday 010808

Went to JB with the insane godbro, mama, auntie, uncle & iqa. We bought stuffs for Hari Raya. The ingredients to make the different kuehs and all. Then had dinner at a place that has a Karaoke session too. Reached that place around 1+ in the morning. So, there were less crowd, in fact i can count them with my fingers. lols. After hurray-hurraying, we head home. Oh, not to forget, i grabbed some bubble gums and wrigley's chewing gums for the boys and myself. jangan jealous k cik haseni. ((:

Saturday 020808

Went to Expo. Sent by the insane godbro again. We were hunting for food. Especially when going to such places with my dearest auntie. sampai je teros makan nasi lemak beb~

imagine this, we reached Expo Hall 3 at 930pm and left at 10pm. haha! Then fetched mama, sent both my aunties back home. My godbro wanted to make me happy. So he promised to bring me to eat again, at Changi Airport, T3's Delifrance. Mama wanted to follow, so we brought her along. Talked things out. Cried my heart out. And ate tuna croissant sandwich. haha. Reached home around 1am.

Sunday 030808

Followed aunty to a wedding ceremony. Her karaoke set was booked for that day. One kecohrable day. Had fun. And i can feel the tiredness of the few days i went out without having a proper rest. hahs. Rushed home after that, thinking the boys would be jamming today. But they cancelled it. So, my godbro planned on eating durian. tapi tak kesampaian~

So we ate at Adam Rd, then head home.

Monday 040808

Planned to get myself a headphone with Miru and Yat. But i cancelled the plan. haha. They were heading to Plaza Singapura and i wanted to go to Sim Lim. hahs. So, went out with Yan(Raihan Husin's bestie). err.. one HOT guy. But won't hope for more. Too good looking for me. ((:

Went home smiling to myself. Don't care what others think already. haha.

Tuesday 050808

Went to JB again. My aunt said she didn't have enough stuffs yet. So we made a quick journey to JB and came back. My godbro and i had plans in the evening. So reached SG, he sent me to Dover, together with mama. They wanted to see the boys, so i bring them in. My godbro, who's a Dangdut freak, could actually understand what the boys were playing and telling me that they were reaallyy good. haha. I was like smiling and said thanks. He was admiring the drummer, and Miru. I told him to watch Miru's fingers. His was fast. haha. So he was like staring at the fingers only. haha. I bet the boys were feeling awkward. But what to do.. orang jakun~

So as my godbro was our driver for the night, i wanted to talk with the boys, so he chose a perfect place to sit and talk. CCK park. The food? Okok la. Mine was horrible. haha. So after the talk, i came to a conclusion. Note it down. Will decide after a few days.

And i actually lost my ezlink and IC on this day! At ITE DOVER. haha.

Today 060808

I thank Zeek, and the owner of the jamming room in ITE DOVER. Who've found and kept my stuffs, together with Qader's lappie. Thanks so much. I don't have to stress about forking out $100 for getting a new IC and Qader, forking out another few thousands for a new lappie.

So, gonna meet the girlfriends later at 630pm, City Hall. Then rush to Clarke Quay for the boys jamming session. Another tiring day, i guess. *sigh*

Hoping tomorrow will be a better day.

-My hand fits perfectly in yours. What could it actually mean?-