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Asian Beats '08 Heats.

Monday, November 24, 20088:29 PM

Ok so, Patchwork Neurology didn't manage to get into Top10. However, i'm proud of them. They did their best. Even though it wasn't a 101%, they're still great. At least i hear some honest reviews on YouTube and from other bands i knew, saying that they're pretty tight and all. For those who missed the chance to catch them live, you can view the video i posted on YouTube. Just type the band's name and..WALLAH~ there's a list of previous gigs and all. So, enjoy! (:
Oh! Thanks to Hasni, Fatin, Zakiah and Nadia who've been giving their never-ending support for PWN. Thanks girls. Hope to see you soon.

So, the first to know about the result was me, of course. LOL. I've been eager to know the results. I've been checking almost every half an hour since 12am last night. I gave up waiting at 1230am and started again at 930am. FINALLY, the results were out 15mins before 12pm. My heart was indeed, thumping very fast. I was searching for familiar band names but sadly, i didn't see any. I knew this would happen as i dreamt of winning, last night. You know how things would go the opposite way when something you dreamt of, turns into reality. I was ready. The first to know after me was, Qader. Poor Panda took it so hard.. He was indeed, never prepared for a failure. So, i consoled. And left him to calm down. Then i text the rest about the results. Yat sounds fine. Ayie was in total shock and went immediate break-down after looking at the results on the website. He went out to make himself feel better. Zeek replied my text message with a ' :.( '
GOD! Can you imagine how i feel, realising that this is BIG to them afterall? I felt sick. I felt bad. But i had to tell them sooner or later. Miru was in shock too, but he was fine afterwards. I was afraid he might be having a downfall too. So i asked each of them if they were ok. Idah, no response. I hope she's all right.
'Cmon guys. You all did your best. Let this be a lesson to learn. We were pretty tight. Let's tighten it more. We all can do this, that's for sure. Let's make this a start, and prepare ourselves for the upcoming gigs and competitions. I love ya'll no matter what. I seriously can't bear to see each of you being the way you are now. Don't be demoralized by this. Work harder and we WILL reach the top. And, the surprise will still go on. A gift from me to all of you, for working this hard.
PWN's own gig in 2009! May the new year, shines on us.

-Nothing hurts more then to be friends with someone, knowing you are both in love with each other, and yet not being able to be together.-

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Asian Beats '08!

Saturday, November 22, 20081:46 AM

ALHAMDULILLAH.
Thank god, she finally understands.
Finally understands that i'm not going against her for my selfishness. It's a passion. My passion in music..and my love for PWN.
Thank you, Mama. I love you to bits.

I read through Mama's convo with Miru last night. FUNNY la sey..! Well, there are somehow rather touching moments where Mama truly understands me for who i am, and who i am not. I hope these 2 people know that i love them alot. Even though i knew Miru for just about a year, it seems like forever. Thank you, for understanding me, you guys.

So, people.. Come down to Tampines Mall later at 3pm. Catch Patchwork Neurology LIVE @ Asian Beats. Competition starts at around 12pm. So, hope to see you guys there!

Ya Allah, may the light shine on us today. Give us the will and confidence to overcome this short period of time. Just once..a moment of a lifetime. Amin~

-May we succeed..-

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Thursday, November 20, 200810:17 PM

As i blog this out, i build up my strength and stay as calm as possible.
Breathe in. Breathe out.

Dear Mum,

I know you've always been such an understanding person.
You've always been there to bring me up whenever i'm down.
I can never replace your love with something else in this world.
And being your precious angel, i tried my best to give the world to you.
I'm never perfect. But at least, i tried.
Truth is, i'm taken aback by what you said about the boys. About MY BOYs.
I know you have your reasons for doing the things you do, saying the things you said.
Somehow, i just can't accept it. It hurts..so bad that when i came to think of it again, tears run down my face.
You knew how much i loved them. You know too that they mean the world to me.
You may think i'm doing this for nothing. I won't even get paid doing the things i do for them.
Mum, you know music has been in my blood ever since i was a kid. I may not be IN the band, playing any instruments, being anybody. At least, i helped the people who appreciate music, who wants the world to listen to their original piece, and cherish it. They are so talented. I've never seen any other quite like them. So, i may not get any returns, i just want them to succeed. Remembering me as someone who've once, helped them becoming who they are, in the future. Please, understand me.

Restuilah anakmu~

-For once, i'm going against you. I had to and i'm sorry.-

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Out with BFFS.

Saturday, November 15, 200811:31 AM

So Yana asked me out yesterday. Asking me to accompany her for a job interview. But i was too tired and my aunt had asked me out already. So i had to turn down Yana's offer. heh. I waited for my aunt to come home. But till 3pm, she's not home yet. So when i read Yana's text message, asking me out again, i told her i would meet her and the rest since they are gonna stay around Tampines. Gosh! I had sooo much fun that i forgot that i am so weak by the time we're walking back to the MRT control station to meet Hadri. We played bowling & pool at Safra Tampines. Fadh was hillarious. He dropped the ball, his shots were mostly off-shot. Very funny. I wanna upload one thing i've just found out about Yana, but afraid she would get mad or something. She told me beforehand, "Ira jangan nak upload video kat blog eh. Yana tanak. Yana malu." LOL. Dia melatah siooll..! Gila babs nye melatah. haha! She's so cute. hahs!

So, by 2220 hours, we met Hadri. The BFF i missed most. I called him and told him to join us at Tampines since he was at lavender, from attending to some NS stuffs. Poor him. I know he's tired. But i missed him. So, i kind of forced him to come down. LOL. We went to Teh Tarik, had our supper. Hadri's on the house. Yesterday, i didn't spend a thing except for my lunch meal. They all treat me for most of my expenses. THANKS SO MUCH GUYS! I LOVE YA'LL!

Here are some of the pictures we took.

p/s: Yana, my butter cookies is still untouched. I'm still full. LOL.

-All i hope is...-

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Jamming 131108 @ FourTones

Friday, November 14, 200812:09 AM

Met Miru & Yat at City Hall control station around 615pm.
Waited for Hafiz CTH at Peninsula exit. He reached around 630pm.
He wanted their videos. So i passed him my thumbdrive and together, we walked to Clarke Quay. Miru, Yat & me went for FourTones Studio while Hafiz went to his workplace. We parted near the bridge. Shockingly, he did something he've never done for soo long. He said, "Ok lah. We gotta split from here. I gotta cross over. I'll pass you back your stuff soon. See you around ok? And take care". With that, he hugged me tightly and kissed my forehead..for quite a moment. -total blank-
Yes, i was shocked. So shocked, that i didn't realise there were eyes staring at us.
God. How i missed him. If Ersyad were to get through my blog, i can't imagine how he would criticise me about it. Yes, Ersyad. Love can't be forced. I'm sorry for hurting you, and no, he hasn't always been there, physically. But he has ALWAYS been in my heart. Maybe i didn't realise it or somehow i'm just too stubborn to accept the fact that i loved someone who's not always there. So, i hated him, once. Has, you've been my pillar. You know how i've always complained about his egos and arrogance. Well, i guess, that's just a reason for me to forget him. Or.. maybe not. But then again, i'm not sure myself. I don't wanna fall for the wrong guy, yet again. -sigh-

So, after jamming. We head to LJS for dinner. I was super hungry. After the "above" incident(i don't know if it is one or not), i felt i've been given the strength. The power to love again. ceh. macam paham~ lol. But really, somehow i felt that way. And Miru, why do you keep disturbing me like that? You know i'm quite a sensitive person. Sikit-sikit boleh lah.. Ni melebih pulak. I'm hurt, somehow. Every single thing you do, whether you realise it or not, it's hurting me bit by bit. Yat, too. He's learning to be YOU. And yeah, i'll know you'd reply me, 'well..too bad then.' But put yourself in my position. I don't want us to fight over small things. So, take care of my feelings, and i'll take care of yours. I WILL take my leave if i believe i'm meaningless already. -_-

-WOW. Can i not wash my head and face from now on?-

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Reconciled.

Sunday, November 09, 20081:43 PM

Just woke up.
Got home around 4am this morning.
After jamming practice, we went for lunch at Raffles Hospital's Banquet.
After which, Miru, Yat, Qader and me went to Hello! shop as Miru wanted to settle some bills. The queue was pretty long and time is running out. Yat has to attend his Nasyid practice. So, we went to Bras Basah Complex, Yat grabbed some Djembe stuff then he head for his practice. Qader thought it was still early to go home so, we went to Esplanade and lepak there. I took some pictures but dare not upload it in here. There are some reasons to it. So, yeah.

And babe, guess what? The song that remind me of Al Hafiz, was brought by another Hafeez. haha.
I was wanting him to put me to sleep, but in the end asking him to play that song, and i sang. LOL. i forgot the verse. -_-
So, yeah. He played differently, of course. It's not an acoustic guitar. So, it somehow sounds different. heh. Still.... he's my bestest guitarist. EVER.

Eh Miru. I am so so glad that we're getting better now. It seemed like it's way better than before. Thank you. And, i'm having a hard time to think before saying anything. Afraid i might hurt you yet another time. Help me with that, ok?

am i that "VERY VERY VERY EMOTIONAL" person? *thinks hard*

-Happy 25th Birthday, Sweetheart.-

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071108

Friday, November 07, 20089:11 PM

So i met Al Hafiz on 061107 (Thurs) after work, just for 15 minutes only. Fast game. He passed me the tie, talked for awhile. Then hugged, and leave. Some of you may wonder, "it's just a tie. BIG DEAL." haha. Well, usually the things that are precious to him, and yet i want it, he WILL give(without feeling any reluctancy so far). 'Cause firstly, he knows i'll take good care of it, better than he would. LOL. Secondly, he love to have something for me, to remind me of him. And now, i have two things at hand. 1 pink bracelet, and his purple/grey tie. I kept the bracelet in a precious box of mine. It's pink. I don't wear much of a pink. Hahs. As for the tie, i'm keeping it with me, where ever i go, in a file. Nice and sweet. Right, hasni? Haha. Anyways, Hafiz, thank you sweetheart. Even though i know you'll never gonna get through this blog, i'm still gonna say THANKS ALOT anyway. ((:

Today.. A last minute plan on GF outing with dearest Hasni. I think i had ALOT OF FUN just now. -mufus!- haha! Thanks for the treat at Swensens, babe. THANKS ALOT. We watched The Coffin at E-Hub. The movie was soo cool. And for those who have yet to watch this movie, please please have an open mind, as wide as possible. 'Cause it's a very complicated movie. Those who are somehow slow-minded, it'll be pointless and they would go saying.. "Boring sia.." or "I don't understand a single bit. The movie sucks!". So, it's either you go for it, or don't waste your money and watch it online!
As for me and Has, we enjoyed the movie. And i'm not regretting it at all. So, yeah. Another best movie i've watched with gf. Thanks again, babe. ((:

Patchwork Neurology @ Asian Beats 08!
Date: 221108
Time: 3pm
Venue: Tampines Mall

So, check 'em out! Don't miss the chance. (:

-Sing me that song again and i'll have a full 2 years flashback with you.-

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Happy Birthday, Nursyahirah!

Monday, November 03, 200810:06 PM

Happy Birthday to me..
Happy Birthday to me...
Happy Birthday to SYAHIRAH......~
Happy Birthday to me........!!!

Birthday girl's depressed. So, she sang herself a birthday song. Don't mind her just for that moment. heh.

Celebrated my birthday twice. One for close friends, one for family. Both times were great. But i just wish i celebrated once with someone special. Someone significant in life, someone preciously loved. How i wish he realize how much he mean to me. *sigh*

Anyways, here's one of the pictures i took, celebrating my birthday last night.

HAH! Cool or what? hee.. Junaidi was like, "wah. dah 21 lah dia~". heh. Both idols said their birthday wishes to me. Awesome! I wished Junaidi shaked my hands and say "Happy Birthday, babe." instead, Khairul did. LOL.
So, yeah. 21st birthday wasn't much of a celebration. Just a key to freedom. Yeap. That's it.

And with all the depression, i pampered myself with Samsung Omnia i900. Cancelled my plan on getting an LG KS 20 as Miru said it's laggy. padan muka~ LOL. So, yeah. Got Mama her new line, like FINALLY she has a "working" handphone. hahs.

p.s: BABE! i'm getting a tie from your brother. i don't know why i'm so excited about getting a used tie, but heck.. it's his. and i'm keeping it as a momento. :DD

and he said he love me too~

-Keeping mum now.-

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Happy Birthday, Adi.

Sunday, November 02, 20084:13 PM

Firstly, i would like to wish one of my sweetest friend (a darling one), Zuraidi, A Very Happy 24th Birthday. May god bless you with wealth and the health you need. Love ya. (:

I just got home from Faizah's wedding reception. Congrats, babe.
May you're blessed with lots and lots of children. :D

Ok. I'm so tired and sleepy. Reached home at 3am this morning, had supper with Carve This Heart, Patchwork Neurology & Mama. Awesome huh? Too bad someone didn't wanna join. She missed a whole lotta fun. *bluek*
Oh by the way, your brother asked about you. Why not you text him and explain to him ya? (:
Like finally i met Fir(CTH). The cutest of them all. LOL. Hafiz would be rolling his eyes, reading this. Well, it's true. In Carve This Heart, there's the cutest and the handsomest. What more can i say? But i love the handsomest more la, of course. haha. I wish i could upload some photos, but my dear cameraman was sick and the camera was in no mood too. So, shit happens sometimes. LOL.
Anyways, before we went for supper at Lau Pa Sat, half of PWN(except Idah & Zeek) watched the other half performed in a gig @ Music Garage. Miru & Yat was helping Zakiah. So, yeah.. And Qader was such an irritainment, no wait. Not only him. All PWN members were. I was recording videos of CTH when Qader first pushed me slightly. Making the video looked shaky. Then came the missed calls from Miru and Yat. -_-
Thanks guys, you helped alot. sheesh~
God, i had sooo much fun yesterday! I was laughing my heart out and all. And oh, ALHAMDULILLAH. Thanks Miru. For bringing me, our old selves. How i really, really missed those times. Sorry for whatever i've done that could have hurt you so bad. Do explain though 'cause honestly, i am so lost. I love you, man. And i don't wanna lose you. You know that damn well.

Seeing you once again, refreshes the memory of us.
The times we had so much fun, so much love.
Yes, we were in love.
But there are things that we just can't make it up for.
I realise now how much i've missed you.. and those times we had.
I believe my feelings for you have never, ever changed. Not a single bit.
No matter how much i believed i've moved on, you will still remain right there.
Sealed in my heart.
So, i'm now clueless on what i should do.
Hopefully you find out about my blog and read it yourself.

-Dear Superhero, i know being a bouncer is never an easy job. So please, take good care of yourself.-

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