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to hold or to let go...
Friday, May 16, 200810:15 PM
160608
(Wrote this on a piece of paper. Just blogging it out after work.) Feeling soberly tired. Couldn't sleep well last night. Thinking hard about something, someone. The mind just can't stop thinking. I just can't give it a rest. Correction, i tried giving it a rest, but it DOESN'T want to. Still, at this very hour, very moment(it's 4pm now, at work to be exact), i just can't get it outta my head. And the songs played by Isetan's operator, GOD! It's making me even harder to breathe. Honestly, i'm not much in a mood to work..to do anything, actually. Almost giving up on him. I don't know why, every time i visit his profile, there's just something that will surely hurts my eyes..oh, my heart too. And it hurts even better to look at it every single day. Not that i've nothing to do, but i just can't help it. You HARDLY see someone you adore, so.. what else could i do, right? Now, here's where the problem lies.. I've hurt him. Twice. It was all unintentionally.. So, i'm not sure if he's sick and tired of my nonsense, yet. But those words, just came spontaneously. I said what my mind speaks. I should've understand him like i always said to him, i know. But this time, i'm unable to control myself. And yes, humans are born to make mistakes. *sigh* To whom it may concern(if he's reading this, as if he bothers to..), I'm terribly sorry for whatever i've done, whatever i've said. I've never EVER meant to hurt you. You know i care ALOT about you. And as days goes by, i get this awkward feeling i've never been feeling for quite a long time. It's..indescribable. And everytime i saw comments on your profile, i realise. I may not be the only one feeling the same way for you. And with that, i'm confused. Horribly confused. Your friendship means ALOT, alot to me.. And if it were to go on, i might go crazy, sooner or later. And no, i ain't joking. Leaving someone like you, is very most, the hardest part. You're so precious to let go. It's a very complicating situation i've to overcome, yet to decide. To think about this every single night, for almost 5 months, i cried whole-heartedly. And for the girls who might be feeling the same way as i do, all the best. I'm backing off. Let time heal this terrible pain. I pray for your upmost happiness. I'm writing all this, just to breathe easy. After all's been said, i hope i'll get better..as time passes by. -The hardest words to say are..I Love You.- |
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