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Shoko Tendo

Saturday, May 31, 200810:43 AM

I've a recommendation for ya'll.
A colleague of mine told me part of the story, and it made me so interested to read it. And now, i bought it.
If you read, then this one's a must read.
Based on True Story, written by the Japanese woman herself, a Yakuza's gang leader's daughter, Shoko Tendo.
A story of a young woman's successful struggle to escape from a life of ostracism and abuse.
It's a touching story. Somehow, made an impact on me.
Selling at MPH Bookstores and Times Bookstores, you can get it at $35.

Tendo lived her life in luxury until the age of six, when her father was sent to prison and her family fell into terrible debt. Bullied by classmates who called her "the yakuza girl," and terrorized at home by a father who became a drunken, violent monster after his release from prison, Tendo rebelled. A regular visitor to nightclubs at the age of 12, she soon became a drug addict and a member of a girl gang. By the age of 15 she was sentenced to eight months in a detention centre. Adulthood brought big money and glamour when Tendo started working as a hostess during Japan's booming bubble economy of the 1980's. But amongst her many rich and loyal patrons there were also abusive clients: one beating left her face permanently scarred. Her mother died, plunging Tendo into a depression so deep that she twice tried to commit suicide. Written with warmth and candour, this is a riveting account of a life in the unique criminal world of the Yakuza, of discrimination and rebellion, drug addiction, despair and finally redemption.

-Together, i fall...-

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26/5/08

Monday, May 26, 20089:27 PM

So.. i guess God have answered my prayers. Alhamdulillah~
Everything's all right between me and him now. He can even joke around..like he always do.
I'm glad i still have the chance to tell him how i feel..
Just a confession to be made. Nothing else. I don't hope for more.
And.. Bkk outing is still yet to decide. I can hardly wait.

Work's been good, especially with my kecohrable colleague, Nazrul, around.
Btw, all are under 20, except for the supervisor and the new full-timer.
And oh, guys.. If you wanna shop for men's clothes, do come down to my workplace ya..?
We're on Great Singapore Sale, right now. Up to 50% off for selected items.
ceh ceh.. sempat promote.. =)

Anyways, i'm gonna stop here..
Tired and sleepy..

Dear Hasni,
Thank you for your adivce & encouragement. I pray your happiness.
Stay Strong. =)

And Dear Firdie,
You stay strong too. Whatever had happened, happens for a reason.

And last but not least, Dear Amin,
I still hate you for not contacting me ever since our last day of school.
I hate you too for not remembering me.
I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

-I love the time whenever i'm with you..-

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to hold or to let go...

Friday, May 16, 200810:15 PM

160608
(Wrote this on a piece of paper. Just blogging it out after work.)

Feeling soberly tired. Couldn't sleep well last night. Thinking hard about something, someone.
The mind just can't stop thinking. I just can't give it a rest. Correction, i tried giving it a rest, but it DOESN'T want to.
Still, at this very hour, very moment(it's 4pm now, at work to be exact), i just can't get it outta my head. And the songs played by Isetan's operator, GOD! It's making me even harder to breathe.
Honestly, i'm not much in a mood to work..to do anything, actually.

Almost giving up on him. I don't know why, every time i visit his profile, there's just something that will surely hurts my eyes..oh, my heart too.
And it hurts even better to look at it every single day. Not that i've nothing to do, but i just can't help it. You HARDLY see someone you adore, so.. what else could i do, right?

Now, here's where the problem lies..
I've hurt him. Twice. It was all unintentionally.. So, i'm not sure if he's sick and tired of my nonsense, yet. But those words, just came spontaneously. I said what my mind speaks. I should've understand him like i always said to him, i know. But this time, i'm unable to control myself. And yes, humans are born to make mistakes. *sigh*

To whom it may concern(if he's reading this, as if he bothers to..),

I'm terribly sorry for whatever i've done, whatever i've said.
I've never EVER meant to hurt you.
You know i care ALOT about you.
And as days goes by, i get this awkward feeling i've never been feeling for quite a long time. It's..indescribable.
And everytime i saw comments on your profile, i realise. I may not be the only one feeling the same way for you.
And with that, i'm confused. Horribly confused.
Your friendship means ALOT, alot to me.. And if it were to go on, i might go crazy, sooner or later. And no, i ain't joking.
Leaving someone like you, is very most, the hardest part. You're so precious to let go.
It's a very complicating situation i've to overcome, yet to decide.
To think about this every single night, for almost 5 months, i cried whole-heartedly.
And for the girls who might be feeling the same way as i do, all the best.
I'm backing off.
Let time heal this terrible pain.
I pray for your upmost happiness.

I'm writing all this, just to breathe easy. After all's been said, i hope i'll get better..as time passes by.

-The hardest words to say are..I Love You.-

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Cinta Dalam Hati

Thursday, May 08, 200810:00 PM

Mungkin ini memang jalan takdirku
Mengagumi tanpa dicintai
Tak mengapa bagiku asal kau pun bahagia
Dalam hidupmu, dalam hidupmu

Telah lama ku pendam perasaan itu
Menunggu hatimu menyambut diriku
Tak mengapa bagiku cintaimu pun adalah
Bahagia untukku, bahagia untukku

Ku ingin kau tahu diriku di sini menanti dirimu
Meski ku tunggu hingga hujung waktuku
Dan berharap rasa ini kan abadi untuk selamanya
Dan izinkan aku memeluk dirimu kali ini saja
'Tuk ucapkan selamat tinggal untuk selamanya
Dan biarkan rasa ini bahagia untuk sekejap saja

-Cinta Dalam Hati-

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Happy Advanced Mother's Day.

Monday, May 05, 20087:12 PM

I wanna wish all mothers an advance Happy Mother's Day..
Thought i won't have the time to post any time soon.
So.. i bought mama a Guess watch. It cost me a whole lotta dime. lols.
But to see her smile, nose went red, and those eyes, almost filled with tears, it's worth it. Really, really worth it. So i'm glad that i've finally bought something that she really loved.
And oh, my aunts? Bought them a blender. Didn't think that they need extra after 2 of it have been creating problems. After purchasing it then i know, they've got another 2 extras. One, mama's blender.. the other one, is my elder aunt's which she didn't wanna use it yet. Still adoring it. heh.
Nevermind. For future use, who knows..

I've been feeling a 'lil lost lately.
Not with work, definitely. Work's been fine. No problems so far, alhamdulillah..
This feeling, it's indescribable.. I can't explain..
All i can say is that, without you, i just can't focus on what i'm actually doing.
And it hurts. It hurts that i hoped too much on you. It hurts to always having you slipped on my mind.. It hurts to actually think that you don't even bother to text me. It hurts more to feel that love has struck again. This time, it's different. I don't know how. But i can just feel it.
And i just hope, really hope that this awkward feeling, goes away.. soon. I just can't take it anymore.

-Just go...-

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