|
hurt
Sunday, August 26, 200710:27 PM
Hey. Hey.
Just got home. Went to aunt's place with the pham this afternoon. Gather with the other phams. It was.. ok. hahs. Nothing much to do. Was totally thinking hard about something this morning. Don't wanna talk much about it though. Anyways, on our way back home, we took bus service no. 292. Before the stop we're dropping at, mama rang the bell. This stupid driver was dreaming, i think. He didn't stop. So, mama and iqa was like, 'wth.', 'where are we gonna drop off then?', 'stupid sia you..'... ok. i rather stop here. huhs. too much vulgarities. lols. So, yeah. Mama was tired. So, she got mad and all. OMG. honestly, i don't know what im blabbering about. I seriously have too much in mind and i got distracted. So, this is what happens. For the first time, to be exact. I don't know why. I guess, i'm taking it too hard. But why should i? tell me it's not true. tell me they're lying.. as i sat on a bench waiting for you, i thought how beautiful life has been whenever i'm with you. you were great everytime when you try to make me smile. as days goes by.. we get closer. that's where, i realised something. i get jealous when i see other girls, looking at you.. in a kind that's hard to explain. i get mad when you don't reply to my messages. but all of that, i keep it to myself. until one day, i had to spit it all out. and.. there you go. i told you how much i liked you. how much i love your companion. i didn't expect much of an answer from you. i know where i stand. you said, 'if we're meant to be together, we'll always be..' so, i kept your words. hoping and praying it'll come true one day. "i go with the flow." talked to you normally. still trying to win your heart. even though you're not much around. Week by week has past. we rarely meet. we rarely talk. we could even hardly chat. out of nowhere, i was told you're in a relationship now. i was amazingly shocked by the news. happy? sad? upset? disappointed? i don't know what i'm supposed to feel. Yet again, you were never mine to start with. And i realise now, that i have to let my imaginary hopes go. Bucokku, i'll be praying for your happiness. Stay bucok always. -Beautifully let down.- |
back to the top
|
|
Love...
Sunday, August 19, 20071:28 PM
Love is patient,
Love is kind. It does not envy, It does not boast, It is not proud. It is not wide, It is not self-seeking, It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, Always trusts, Always hopes, Always perseveres. So, i will wait for you no matter how long it takes. -Just don't go away. I need you.- |
back to the top
|
|
Happy Birthday Aie!
Thursday, August 09, 200711:07 PM
To my dearest, HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY!!!
May god bless you. Love you loads, sweet one. =) So, i got home about an hour a go or so.. Went out with mama to DB first then we went to Scotts. At DB, we went to Dorothy Perkins. At first, i thought of just looking around. I tried a few clothes to just plan on the things i wanna buy. After trying this dress, i thought it didn't look nice on me. Then i asked for my mum and the salesgirl's opinion. My mum said it look OK but doesn't really suits me while the salesgirl said the same thing. So, she recommended on the new arrival long tube they have. I tried a few with plain t-shirts. It looked nice! Mama liked it. And told me to get 2 long tubes and 1 t-shirt. Again, she acted weird. She's eager to change me, i guess. hehs. And so.. im tired.. gonna sleep now. School starts early tomorrow. Damn ITE. Why must we be schooling on the day after National Day when other schools are closed..? Bleargh~ -Happy Belated National Day, everyone!- |
back to the top
|
|
Alhamdulillah..
10:53 AM
First of all, i have to say Alhamdulillah..
Things between me and him are OK now. We settled everything 2 nights ago. There were some misunderstandings and all.. So, i can't really blame him. I blame myself to just judge him that way and say the things that i'm not supposed to say. I'm so sorry Abang. I'm the one who should understand you better since we're close since sec school. You know i love you loads. I was just taking it too hard. Without thinking about how you feel and all. Forgive me. I love you. Anyways, Fird, Fana & me went to watch Fantastic Four perform at the Esplanade Bay last night. It was soo late. We reached there at about 8+. We waited for them till 1030. I was freaken tired la.. hehs. Anyways, while waiting, we were seating near the sea, eating strawberry chocolate dips and banana chocolate dips when suddenly, Fantastic Four came out with their costume and make-up done. Amin was like smiling all the way to us. hehs. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, there's this guy at the back asked his friends, "ni apa pulak? band jepon kepe?"(what's this? A band from japan or something?).. I heard and i turned, and said "huh.....? ehmm ehmm.....". lols. It was funny lor. Before their performance, there was a band performance by The Sally's. So, i think all they know is there will be band performances. lols. Funny larh. After watching their first performance, Fird and Fana had to rush home. And so was i. My leg was in pain. My eyes just wanted to close. Too tired already. So, on the way home, i sms-ed abang saying i couldn't stay. And the reply was unforgettable. "Thanks sweetie...appreciate alot from u sis..love ya!". =) So.. that's about it. Will blog again soon. Toodles~ -"band jepon!!!"- |
back to the top
|
|
So much love & gratitude you have for whom you call a "Sister".
Tuesday, August 07, 20079:50 PM
I'm deeply hurt.
And i'm so soo mad. He, has complications with Em again. Told me and Fird to help him. We tried. And i ended up getting mad. He told us Em is not talking to him after RE:MIX since. So, me and Fird planned to have a talk with Em on msn. But Em told me everything before i could add Fird up. She gave me a copied convo of them. I read. And read. Until... There's a part where he told Em that he was upset about something. Which i strongly feel, it's about me. Hell bro, i DID came for RE:MIX 07. Even though i was there for awhile, i TOLD you i came..with MAMA. Why the hell you tell others that you're upset about something you shouldn't be upset about? THAT was unacceptable already, but i wasn't so fucked up about it. Went on reading.. Until.. He told Em that he should be happy with her and the rest who've been supporting him ever since, no one else. And he owe them alot. Also, he should be thankful and all. FUCK. THIS is where i get so freaken mad. Where the hell am i placed, here? In his fucking pocket where he could find me when he has no one to turn to?? Honestly, i CAN. But i can't accept the fact that you, w/o knowing, trying to bring me down.. It's as if i was NEVER there for you. And others will think i'm just a sister by NAME. I mean, yes we are, by name but we're like really siblings already la... and you KNOW it. They, who hardly know me, will think that i'm just gaining your popularity by name. And you will NEVER realise what you did... NEVER WILL. Tell me.. What should i say to Mama if she gets to know about this? Everything came in a split second. Can't believe all the ones who're dear to me, could hurt me when i need them most. Especially... NOW. -It hurts like hell..- |
back to the top
|
|
Be my Superhero, anyone?
Saturday, August 04, 20076:10 PM
Words can't explain how i feel right now.
Confused. Enraged. I'm drowned by my own tears. That's what a girl like me can do. It hurts so bad. But i don't wanna think about it. I just wanna run away from all these unnecessary things. Close my eyes. My hands covering my ears. I tried to put a smile on my face wherever i go, whoever i see. For i don't want others to know my pain. I can't understand why i have to fall in love and get hurt in the end. If true love do exists, why hasn't it come to me? If there's really a Mr Right for me, why isn't he here to save me from my miseries? He's been there for me all this while. I shared my sorrows with him. And now, he's going.. Who am i to turn to when he's gone? If only he realise how much he means to me.. I wanna get use to it.. Getting use to not having him around anymore. Keeping all my secrets within me. Like how it used to be. -He wants to be someone else's Superman.- |
back to the top
|
|
Jalan-Jalan Cari Pasal!
Friday, August 03, 200712:40 PM
W.O.W!
It's been like about 3 weeks since i last blogged. I seriously don't know what to blog about.. But i already promised Kak Firdie to blog soon. So, here i go... Yesterday, went to Far East with the craziest and bitchiest twin of mine. We had our dinner there. Searched for Kak Firdie's belt. Like always, we argued about silly stuffs. I find this black belt nice, but to him, it's too big for Kak Firdie. wth! Anyways, he was looking for a belt and a nice, simple cap. But we didn't find anything suitable there. So, as planned, we went to Bugis..walking from somewhere near the NLB. My feet were killing me! I had blisters. Thanks to Amin who wants me to do some exercise! Damn! Anyways, once we reached Bugis, we found one very nice belt for Kak Firdie. Called her up to ask about the matching colours and stuff. I knew she'll love it. (guess she already is.. right Kak Firdie?) Amin got a VERY huge and nice belt which i secondly chose. lols. It's quite out-of-budget for him but i thought it's worth it. Especially for a dancer like him. He didn't get any cap though. We were running out of time for Amin's facial treatment at Arab St. So, i quickly bought a simple belt for myself. And i think it's..... nice. hehs. Amin said so too. hee. Bucok went silent out of a sudden. He rarely goes online. I'm missing him badly. I wish i have someone to turn to.. But i guess he's been the only one for me to cry on ever since. So, i guess i have to keep everything to myself since he's not around. I wonder how he's doing, why isn't he online and all. I seriously don't know how i feel for this guy.. I'm just hoping for the best. On the other hand.. Fadzly, loves his present so much. I gave him in advance since i was gonna meet Kak Firdie last Wednesday at CWP. He called me up at night, when i was just about to sleep, saying nothing but, 'You. Thank you so much. Believe it or not, this is the kind of t-shirt i've been looking for, the last 2 months. It's.. GORGEOUS. The size fits well and the design is like.. OMG! I just can't believe it. It's exactly what i want. Thank you soooo much.' Can you imagine how i feel? This is like the first time i gave someone a perfect birthday gift. hehs. Dearie, i told you it's gorgeous. =) -You're everything i want..- |
back to the top
|