readmeifyoucan.

Love the one who's loving you..

Tuesday, February 20, 20075:50 PM

Nothing much happened over the weekends.
Syad came to my place yesterday..
I needed to borrow his lappy. And so, he came over just to pass me that.
And oh! To check my sick pc too.. Sad to say, nothing could be done to that pc..
Unless i have the money to repair it, again.. I have to keep in mind that i can't chat at nights..
Talk to my dearests.. Surfing the net.. etc..
Nevermind all that. Things happened for a reason.
For example, i'm using Syad's lappy now to finish up stupid online tests and do blogging. Heh.
Thanks sweetie. You're the best. =)

Anyways, mama planned to catch a movie. Unfortunately, when we reached the destination, the queue was horribly long.. So, we planned on just having dinner.. And yah, Syad was with us too.. Heh. We ate at Compass Point's Swensens.. Most shops were closed, so nothing to wander about.. and we went home. After successfully connected to my internet, i did the online tests. Couldn't finish up all and Syad kindly said i could borrow his lappy and return it to him on Wednesday.

Talked to Hafiz last night. We're not on good terms these few days, i must say. We always got into silly fights. We're not talking that much like we use to. I don't know where it got wrong. Was it me, dear? Sometimes, i just feel like giving up 'coz, to think back, u didn't even try to love me. And i go, 'why the hell should i wait?'.. And my heart goes, 'coz you love him..'
The tears i cried honestly, wasn't meant for you..
It's for the things i've done.. Making things so complicated and ended up feeling down.. Didn't know what i should do. I'm feeling guilty.. I honestly don't know what i should do.. If i follow my heart, a person's heart will bleed. If i follow what i believe in, i'll lose someone i love dearly..
Should i just go and leave?
A question that has no answer to it.. yet.

Has, you really make me speechless when you said.. 'He said he needed time..? And you believe that?'
Girl, what do i gotta say? I'm not sure if i'm blind. But please correct me when i say, i don't think i'm stupid enough to just believe every single word he said.

And Syad, i hope you understand why i'm holding it back now..
I never want any of this to happen..
It just.. happened.

Trust me when i say, i love you..
But i can't do anything about it now..
Coz you don't even want me..

-You don't even try..-

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Happy Belated Vday!

Thursday, February 15, 20076:40 PM

To my dearests..

Thank you for the gifts. Honestly, i'm overwhelmed. And i'm truly sorry, 'coz i had nothing for you guys. All i have for you both is, a true friendship that will never last.
And to Ersyad, thank you so much for the unexpected gift from you. I know it's somehow costly even though you tried denying it. Heh. Seriously, i felt so... happy. And it's really unexpected. Thanks alot, Syad. I appreciate it. And yah, only time will tell..

And.. Here are some pics of what some of my b*tches gave me..

The one at the very top, is from Firdiana. The badges, from Hasni.

Firdiana, Amin, Dynn & Ira. =)

The gifts..
The teddies, are from Syad.

My mind says, don't wait.
My heart says, you love him.. It's worth waiting even if the answer would hurt.
I wouldn't wanna play with fire.
I know i love you.
And i know you do too.
And so, i'll do what i believe..

-No matter what happens, i'll always love you.-

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My Only One..

Monday, February 05, 20077:34 PM

Did I ever tell you I’m better to have known you?
I don’t want to leave you with the shadow of a doubt.
Did I ever give you the strength you’ve given me?
And how can I begin to make each moment mean the most so you will see..
I never loved you more then I do today.
Sometimes life just seems to get in the way.

It’s been too long..
I want to sit down and write for you a perfect love song.
I want to shout it out in a silent crowd.
I want to move you in a million ways.
I said to you everyday but did I ever tell you I love you that way?

And did I ever tell you I’m better to have known you?
I don’t want to change you cause I proud of who you are.
And should you ever question the pain we are going through.
What I need to mention is that life just isn’t living without you.
You know that I want you more than anything.
Sometimes I just forget to say what I mean.

Went for Bridge Leaders Camp(after a long lecture by Has..) with the B*Tches, Mastura & Zahirah, last weekend.. Met loads of new friends there. And i really had a great time. Lucky me, there were no high obstacles to be done.. *smiles evilly* There are more of nice and sweet memories to remember.. And my group won the Overall Best Group.. Yippee! Lols. And i got home with pimples on my face. Heh! Anyways, i think i'm ready to lead the newbies soon. And so are my B*Tches, right?

Ok. That's for the weekends that has passed. Today, for Sports & Wellness, we were enrolled for a Roller-Blading class.. And no, i didn't wanna go.. But Has insist on me going.. So, i had to please her somehow.. It was a bright sunny day.. I could say we were sun-tanning while blading.. On our way back, we realised that some parts of our body that isn't covered, turned red and dark. It looks awful, it still is. When i got home, took a bath, it hurts.. And i can feel that it's still hot. I did what was told by a classmate of mine.. Took some ice and lay it on me. It feels nice and cold. But heh. I hope it doesn't hurt by tomorrow. That's for today.. I'm waiting for someone to get online. I'm missing him so..

-More Than Useless..-

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Missing you more than anything else..

Thursday, February 01, 20079:29 PM

I miss you..
Missing you more than anything else..
Not ever wanting to let you go..
You're all i ever wanted..

When our eyes first met
I couldn't predict what i felt..
As prediction always fail to impress me..

Your captivating smile..
Your sweet voice..
Never fails to melt my heart..
And i'm missing you..
I'm missing you so..

Couldn't imagine how this world turns upside down..
But you..
You came and saved me from all the miseries and sorrows..
And for that, i'm thankful..
I thanked god for the ups n downs he gave.
For the reason was..
I met you.

-Dead Confused.-

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