I think i'm just fooling myself
Thinking that things could all be all right
It has all been different,
Since the day you left

Thought i could finally move on
And learn to love again
It's been different
And i wonder why..

I don't know what
I don't know why
I just don't wanna hurt him anymore
Even though he's been the one lying
I just feel guilty
Because it's not him that i fall for


-Forgive me.-

So empty can't feel no more 
As I'm left with my tears on the floor 
I wait for my heart to mend 
But you keep tearing a hole 

Inside I'm so lost In the middle of my heart 
It's a battlefield of love 
I've been fighting far too long 
And now I'm shattered 
From you chipping my heart 
Kept taking it till it broke 
Oh how it hurts 
Felt it slip from your hand 
Hit the ground and now it's shattered 
I'm so shattered 
Can't believe you left me 

What am I still here for?
Could it be that I'm just waiting?
Hoping you'd rescue me 
And put the pieces together again 

Tell me what you're really here for 
If you never really loved me 
I gave my all but it still wasn't enough 
'Cause all you had to say was that you ain't looking for commitment 
Instead of telling me what I wanted to hear 

You took my emotions 
And scattered them on the ground 
So hard to just pick up 
And move on with life again 



 - I've always knew you'd be trouble. -

Sometimes when i'm too free to think,
I'd do a self-reflection,
On how my life journey has been.
The many ups and downs,
The tears and laughters.
I must say that it's been a wonderful and adventurous journey,
With the exception of the many heartbreaking periods,
Of which i survived in each and every possible challenges that life could give.
I got down, got up again, like a roller coaster.
But i know, i live for the people i love and Allah.
There are many that cares for me with or without me knowing.
I am very thankful for the negative people that passes by,
For they taught me that i could actually face all the critics, 
With an open mind.
I am who i am after all.
I'd change for me and for Allah,
And there should be nothing else that could possibly matters.
Hence, i am living my life positively.
Should there ever comes a man who'll truly love me,
I shall accept his hand and pray that it'll last till Jannah.
What Allah has planned for me, i may never know.
But i know, the best has yet to come.


- Not giving up just yet. -

Staring down,
At a picture of a lovely couple,
No idea on what or how to feel.
Then I smiled,
Thinking how happy he was by her side.
I am thankful,
That finally,
He've found the one who could make him whole.
Though I loved him dearly,
We weren't destined to be together.
I am grateful to Allah,
For the numerous lessons and challenges.
I know it meant to make me be a better person.
Insya'allah, i will be.

I shall live in peace now


- Things happens for a reason. -

Today starts a new month, new day and a new challenge.
The month i look forward to.
With the new position that i hold, the higher responsibilities i shall bear.
May this will keep me busy from thinking the unnecessary.

Ya Allah, I thank you for the blessings you've showered on me.
I gained the strength to finally moved on because of you.
I don't know if i deserve it all, but i'll make it all worthy.

And to you,
Forgive me for my harsh words.
Everyone tend to speak the truth when in angst.
I'll always pray for your happiness and health.
May Allah protect you always.
I'll always love you.


- It's time for me to shine. -

..and i wonder if you ever cared about how i feel.




- 'coz it hurts too much. -